What Would Jimmy Do?

I was cleaning out and rearranging things downstairs a few weeks ago and I ran across some memorabilia that I hadn’t forgotten about, but haven’t thought about for a long time. There’s a story behind them that I can’t tell and even if I could, I wouldn’t be comfortable talking about it. 

Anyhow, the objects were various things like coffee and beer mugs, belt buckles, etc. with the KGB logo or symbol on them. I realize that not everyone is as old as I am, so for the younger readers — KGB stands for Komitet Gosudarstvennoy Bezopasnosti, or Committee for State Security, an organization of the old Soviet Union. The KGB was a military service and it operated under army laws and regulations. It had several main functions: foreign intelligence, counterintelligence, the exposure and investigation of political and economic crimes committed by Soviet citizens, guarding the leaders of the Central Committee of the Communist Party and Soviet Government, organization and security of government communications, protecting Soviet borders, and thwarting nationalist, dissident, religious, and anti-Soviet activities. The organization existed form March 13, 1954 to December 3, 1991. When the Soviet Union ceased to exist, so did the KGB.

The Soviet Union’s KGB and the United States’ CIA are intelligence agencies synonymous with the Cold War. They were often viewed as being pitted against one another — each agency sought to protect its status and maintain its dominance in its own sphere of influence. The question of who was better, the KGB or CIA, is difficult, probably impossible, to answer objectively. 

There’s an old expression that you should “keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” In some instances, that’s exactly what the two organizations did — and a major reason that I wound up with the memorabilia I mentioned above.
— 30 —

One of the few magazines we subscribe to, that I actually read, is TIME. In the last issue, there was an article that caught my eye — it was about people that are “overtalkers.”
Often times I think that maybe I talk too much — I always speak up in meetings or when I’m in a group of people and I’m not hesitant to express my opinion. And sometimes later, I think that I should have just kept quite, or that maybe I said too much. 

The TIME article basically indicated that the world is filled with overtalkers and went on to talk about a number of famous people — some that probably talk too much, but many that choose their words carefully and and use pauses at the appropriate place in their conversation.

Not too surprisingly, men claim the title of champions of overtalking. There’s a word to describe problem of overtalking — talkaholism. The term was coined by a pair of communication-studies scholars (Virginia P. Richmond and James C. McCrosky) at West Virginia University to describe a form of extreme overtaking. They described talkaholism as an addiction, and said that while a talkaholic’s gift with words can help them advance in their careers, their inability to rein in their overtalking can lead to personal and professional difficulties. 

So after reading the article, I wondered if maybe I was a talkaholic. The article listed a self-scored questionnaire that supposedly can identify people who suffer from the condition. The article indicated where the test could be found online, so I took the test. (You can find it on the TIME website if you’re interested.)

It turns our that I’m not a talkaholic. The most you can score on the test is 50 and my score was 25. If you score between 30 and 40, you’re a “marginal” talkaholic. 
So when people tell me I talk too much, I can say that maybe I do, but at least I’m not a talkaholic.
— 30 —

A few days ago the subject was balloons — specifically the Chinese “reconnaissance” balloon that flew over the U.S. recently. I got to thinking that maybe more time should have been spent on the “early” balloons….

It appears that back in the 18th century sometime, some inventors turned their attention to balloons. They began by attaching something heavy to something filled with lighter than normal air — like hot air. The very first balloons were hot air balloons. My extensive research uncovered a story about a Brazilian priest (turned inventor, I guess) that some think may have “invented” the hot air balloon. I mentioned the other day that the first recorded use of reconnaissance balloons was during the French revolutionary wars. Apparently the French were among the first to show an interest in balloons. French brothers Joseph and Etienne Montgolfier experimented with hot air balloons and in the late 1700s were ready to send up passengers — a rooster, a duck, and a sheep. The experiment went well… if you don’t count a minor injury to the rooster when he was kicked by the sheep. After that successful “flight,” the brothers sent up a man in a balloon that was tethered — the balloon was attached to a line that was anchored to the ground. 
Soon afterwards a couple of Frenchmen went aloft in a balloon, cut the line and sailed over Paris at an altitude of about 3,000 feet. They burned wood and straw to maintain a supply of hot air and were aloft for about 25 minutes and covered about five and a half miles. The flight caused quite a stir in Paris and created a frenzy over balloons throughout Europe.

Balloon mania was on — inventors kept working on balloons. Heated air could get a balloon up, but when the fuel for the fire ran out, the air cooled and the balloon came down — wherever it happened to be. Keeping the fire going in the air was complicated and dangerous. So the inventors began to fill balloons with hydrogen gas. That worked well, but it was very flammable. 

In 1783, Jacques Charles launched a hydrogen filled balloon from the site of what today is the Eiffel Tower and it flew for two hours, covering 27 miles. Among the crowd of onlookers was the American philosopher-statesman — and inventor — Benjamin Franklin. Ben called called the flight “a most beautiful spectacle.” Of course not everyone was impressed or understood what all the fuss was about. Someone asked Franklin what those floating things could possibly be used for. His reply was, “What use is a newborn baby?” 
It turns out that a use was found soon. In 1793 the first airmail letter was sent from London to Paris by balloon — the letter was addressed to B. Franklin.

Another famous American, President Abraham Lincoln, got interested in balloons on June 17, 1861, when he received a telegraph message from high up in the air. A balloon enthusiast named Theodore Lowe had taken several representatives of the American Telegraph Company up over Washington, D.C. in a tethered balloon. They ran a wire down the tether and sent the first air-to- land telegram. It was forwarded to Lincoln.

Later that night, Lowe’s balloon was tethered over the White House while Lincoln asked about military possibilities. Lowe’s conversation with Lincoln very probably led to the use of balloons by the Union troops during the Civil War. Tethered balloons provided a high platform from which to spy on the enemy. An added psychological benefit was that the balloons looked scary lurking above the battle zone. The Confederacy was unsuccessful in trying to shoot down the Union’s balloons, so they decided they needed some of their own.
 (As an added bonus for taking time to read this, here’s some additional information…. the balloons the Confederacy came up with were made of silk — providing a nice elegant Southern touch to the project. In fact, it gave rise to the tale that Southern belles had donated their best dresses to the air-war effort.)

Of course the one problem that plagued the advancing balloon technology was that they couldn’t be steered. They could only go up and down and were at the mercy of the wind as to which direction and how far they moved sideways. Balloon “pilots” were just passengers, so a lot of effort was put into devices to make the balloons go where the pilots wanted. Inventors came up with oars, sails, wings, parachutes and propellers, but nothing worked. One inventor suggested harnessing a team of vultures, but that idea never panned out. Nothing really succeeded until the development of a lightweight gasoline engine. By the beginning of World War I, balloons were using motors, propellers and rudders.
And the rest, as they say, is history……
— 30 —

Today is National Chopsticks Day – a fun holiday that we usually celebrate. Actually, we often use chopsticks at home — mostly because it’s just a fun thing to do. But today, being National Chopsticks Day, it’s almost mandatory.

Chopsticks were developed about 5,000 years ago in China. There is a famous tale that Confucius advised people not to use knives at the table because knives would remind them of the slaughterhouse. Chinese chopsticks are usually 9 to 10 inches long and rectangular with a blunt end. 

Over a quarter of the world’s population use chopsticks as their primary utensil for eating. However, the first chopsticks were probably used for cooking, stirring the fire, serving or grabbing bits of food, and not as eating utensils.

Chopstick shapes and lengths vary according to region or country. Generally Chinese versions are tapered with blunt ends and Japanese chopsticks are shorter and more pointed.

So put the silverware away today — eat whatever you’re having with chopsticks and have a Happy Chopsticks Day!
— 30 —

Today, February 5, is the end of the Chinese New Year celebration. Chinese New Year, known as the Spring Festival, typically lasts 15 or 16 days and always ends with the Lantern Festival — that’s today/night. Chinese New Year begins with the first new Moon of the year and ends with the following full Moon

Tonight’s full Moon is commonly known as the Full Snow Moon because February is usually the snowiest month in the United States. Various cultures, of course, had their own names for each month’s moon. The Cherokee tribe called February’s full moon the Bone Moon because by this time of the year, the tribe’s winter food supplies had usually dwindled down to the point where people had to gnaw on bones and cook bone marrow soup in order to survive.

Last evening the Moon was spectacular — I expect nothing less when tonight’s full Moon rises.
— 30 —

Since I’ve been writing this blog, there are certain subjects that I’ve deliberately avoided. It seems there is enough classified information floating around in public already….
But the news has been full of stories — and speculation — about the “Chinese spy balloon” flying over the United States. 

I’m going to ignore the political and international relations ramifications, but the subject of balloons themselves is interesting and deserving of a blog by me…..
Modern-day “spy” balloons consist of a piece of spying equipment, like a camera, suspended beneath a balloon that floats above a given area, usually carried along by wind currents. Balloons in this day and age usually (possibly) carry radar equipment and and are probably solar powered. The balloons usually operate above 70,000 feet — that’s well above where commercial airlines operate.

If you have an inquisitive mind (like me) you probably wonder why balloons are still used today, what with all the advanced technology, like satellites, readily available. Well, there are probably lots of reasons, but balloons are much cheaper than satellites, much cheaper to launch and if you need to retrieve them — well, that’s easier and cheaper, too.

I remember during the Civil War (no, I wasn’t there) the Union sent soldiers, equipped with binoculars,  up in hot air balloons to gather information about Confederate activity further away. They relayed their information back via morse code or a piece of paper tied to a rock. I did some extensive research on balloons and found that the first recorded use of reconnaissance balloons was at the Battle of Fleurus against Austrian and Dutch troops during the French revolutionary wars. 

So again, trying to not be political or contribute to worsening international relations, what’s the deal with the Chinese balloon? 
China’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs said that the object is merely a civilian weather observatory blown off course. I guess if you don’t think about that too much, it sounds feasible. But — from what I’ve read, this particular balloon has the ability to maneuver. How much this balloon can maneuver seems important to me — most balloons just go up and down and are at the mercy of the winds. If this balloon can be controlled toward specific destinations, that puts it a step or two above any balloon I’m familiar with. Another thing that doesn’t compute with the Chinese Ministry’s explanation is that this balloon has been “up there” for at least days, maybe months. Weather balloons usually only remain aloft for a number of hours. I also read that the Chinese balloon is roughly the size of three buses — the weather balloons I’ve seen are probably no more than 20 to 30 feet in diameter.

Even though it appears that the Chinese balloon is “controllable,” what if it isn’t? Do wind patterns at different altitudes make it possible to send a balloon over a specific location? At those altitudes, the prevailing winds are west to east. So a balloon launched in China can end up in the United States, but if a balloon is launched in the U.S., it wouldn’t be able to go west (to China.) So it’s possible to choose a specific place to launch a balloon and have a reasonable chance it’ll go over the area of interest. But it’s location certainly can’t be controlled with a lot of accuracy. So what will happen to the Chinese balloon? If it’s not controllable, eventually it’ll come down — somewhere.

There’s no limit to what kind of modern technology you can stick on the bottom of a balloon, whose technology is very old. Just like during the Civil War, the whole point is “higher ground.” Military leaders alway talk about capturing or dominating the higher ground. Higher ground recently has been space, but that’s becoming congested and satellites are vulnerable to attack. So maybe balloons are the high ground of the future. 

Anyhow, it’ll be interesting to see how the Chinese Spy Satellite Story plays out. The good news is that it’s keeping the mass shootings out of the headlines for a few days…..
— 30 —

Well here it is the second of February already and time for my annual Groundhog Day Blog.
On this date every year the townsfolk in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania gather in Gobbler’s Knob to watch as a furry marmot is plucked from his burrow to predict the weather for the rest of the winter.
Some people get confused about what it means if the groundhog sees his shadow — or doesn’t. According to folklore if Phil (the groundhog) does see his shadow (meaning the Sun is shining, I guess) winter will not end early, and we’ll have 6 more weeks of it. If Phil (the groundhog) doesn’t see his shadow (cloudy, I guess) we’ll have an early spring. 

Members of Punxsutawney Phil’s “inner circle” claim his predictions are 100% accurate. However that claim isn’t 100% accurate. According to sources that track these sorts of things, the accuracy number is more like 39%.
Before Punxsutawney Phil came into vogue, people relied on the Old Farmers’ Almanac for their weather predictions. The Farmers’ Almanac uses a mathematical and astronomical formula to make their long-range weather predictions — not, as they say, folklore. People that are fans of the Almanac say their weather forecasts are accurate 80-85% of the time. So apparently division of opinions exists in weather forecasting as well as politics.
Whether you’re a fan of Phil, or not, over the years he has gained respect and we celebrate a “holiday” that’s stuck around for more than a century.

The date of the celebration coincides with the medieval feast of Candlemas and its pre-Christian predecessor —Imbolc.(Imbolc is also called Saint Brigid’s Day and is a Gaelic traditional festival. It marks the beginning of spring and for Christians it is the feast day of Saint Brigid, Ireland’s patroness saint.)
An old Scottish prophecy ties Candlemas to the weather….
As the light grows longer
The cold grows stronger
If Candlemas be fair and bright
Winter will have another flight
If Candlemas be cloud and snow
Winter will be gone and not come again
A farmer should on Candlemas day
Have half his corn and half his hay
On Candlemas day if thorns hang a drop
You can be sure of a good pea crop

Even though Punxsutawney Phil is the focal point of the oldest and largest annual Groundhog Day celebration, there are other celebrations and other groundhogs….
West Virginia has their own famous groundhog — French Creek Freddie. In case you want to attend sometime, French Creek is between Hacker Valley (Webster Countty) and Buckhannon (Upshur County.) It is the location of the WV Wildlife Center.
So no matter what the weather, spring will officially arrive with the Vernal Equinox on March 20, 2023 at 5.24 pm EST.
— 30 —

Today is not only Groundhog Day, it’s also Candlemas Day…. some proverbs link the day to the weather, much like Groundhog Day. For example: “If Candlemas Day be fair and bright, winter will have another light” and “If Candlemas Day brings cloud and rain, winter won’t come again.”

The word Candlemas derives from candela meaning candle — Candlemas is also known as the festival of light. The day is celebrated on February 2 to honor light warding off evil and death and assuring prosperity. It is a Christian festival commemorating the presentation of Jesus at the Temple of Jerusalem and his role as a light to enlighten pagan nations. 

The first written records of this day’s celebration date back to the 5th century. They  narrate the journey Mary and Joseph made to the temple with the infant Jesus. The Church created Candlemas Day to replace pagan cults that placed light at the heart of their rituals. The Romans held torchlight processions in February to purify the Earth at the end of winter. It was also the month of Lupercalia — a festival of purification held in Rome to revive fertility by releasing vital forces. 

Over time, the Lupercalia became more involved with scandalous excess and the Christian community looked on the activities with a disapproving eye. In the year 494, Pope Gelasius I decided to ban this festival and replace it with Candlemas processions and the blessing of candles in churches. The blessed candles serve as a symbol of Jesus Christ, representing his day of induction into Judaism.

For most of us, Christmas ends when we take down out Christmas decorations or have to go back to work, but Candlemas, which comes 40 days after Christmas, is officially the end of Christmas. 
— 30 —

More than fifty years ago, probably on our first date, I first heard about Claire’s sister, Bobbie the Nun. It was a while later, after we were married, that I first met Bobbie. A lot of the world knew her as Sister Janelle, but she was always Bobbie the Nun to me — and — I guess, to most of the people that really knew her.

My first meeting with her was at the “Mother House,” or as I like to call it, “Headquarters,” in Chardon, Ohio. Before our wedding, there was a big party in Cleveland where I met all of Claire’s family — except Bobbie…. she wasn’t able to attend. So after we were married, while visiting family in Cleveland, we went to Chardon to visit Bobbie. I remember her being excited about just about everything and I noticed her enthusiasm just didn’t stop — she was like a little kid just discovering the world. But over the years I realized that she wasn’t discovering the world — she was just more appreciative of the world than anyone I’ve ever known.

After I met Bobbie, we were out of the country for three years and the summer that we returned, we were in the process of buying a house in Vienna. It turns out that Bobbie was teaching at St. Leo’s school in Fairfax — just a few miles from Vienna. During the summer, all the nuns were on retreat, and their residence was empty. We were living in a motel while looking for a house, and Bobbie insisted that we stay in the convent rather than pay for the motel. 
After we were settled in Vienna and Bobbie and the other Nuns returned to St. Leo’s in the fall, we saw quite a lot of her, being only a few miles apart, and it was my first chance to really get to know her. I had never before met anyone like Bobbie — if I made a list of all the unique people I’ve met during my life, she’d be at the top of my list. I’m sure I could fill a book with “Bobbie stories.” 

We often took Bobbie to the Smithsonian Museums in Washington. One of the first times we took her to the Smithsonian, she was totally fascinated by everything. I remember one exhibit about television news and there was an old kinescope of Edward R. Murrow reading the news — we couldn’t get Bobbie away from that exhibit — she had missed that part of American history when she entered the convent. We finally just went on through the museum without her, because she was reading every single word of every exhibit. Anyhow, the museum announced that it was closing and we couldn’t find Bobbie. The guards finally ushered everyone out and we were on the front steps with no Bobbie. We rang the bell and told the guard that we had lost Bobbie and thought she was still in the museum somewhere. The guard took a deep breath and told us to go around to the back door and wait there. We waited by the “loading dock” door for a long time. Finally, the door opened and one of the guards just kind of “put” Bobbie out, with a sigh and looking very annoyed, said, “here!” Of course Bobbie was just happy as could be and thanked the “nice man” for helping her.

Shortly after we started taking Bobbie places after we moved to Vienna, it became apparent that she had no sense of directions, time or distance. Whenever we took her someplace she wanted to go, it was always about 30 minutes away. One of the first times we took her somewhere she had been before, I asked her if she knew how to get there. She said she did — just go around the beltway and then it’s just a little ways. After we got on the beltway, I asked her which exit I should take and she replied, “this one looks right.” Turns out that to Bobbie, all the beltway exits were the same — she was amazed when we told her that they had numbers and names….. We had a lot of interesting adventures following Bobbie’s directions.

Every time we took Bobbie anywhere in the car, even before we got our seat belts buckled, no matter if we were going to the corner store or to Cleveland, she always began the trip with a “destination prayer” — I’m not sure that’s what it was called, but it was a quick prayer that we got to our destination safely. She always ended the prayer with “…. and please protect us from all the crazies.” This went on for a while and one day I said to Bobbie, “Gee, Bobbie, calling people crazies doesn’t seem like a very Christian thing to do.” I don’t remember her responding to that comment, but she was clearly giving it some thought. After that, she always ended the prayer with “…. and please protect us from all the irresponsible drivers.”

Shortly after we moved to West Virginia, Bobbie came down to visit us — she flew into Dulles and we picked her up at the airport. When we got home, and Bobbie opened her suitcase, there was a note in it from the TSA saying that her bag had been searched. Bobbie wasn’t familiar with the TSA and their procedures, so we explained what had happened. Her reaction was typically Bobbie — she said, “Oh my! I’m glad I packed neatly.” And she thought it was so nice of them to leave her a note as to what they’d done.

During her first visit with us here in West Virginia, Bobbie insisted on cleaning the kitchen and decided the coffee pot really needed a good cleaning. So she proceeded to disassemble the coffee pot down to it’s individual parts — there were springs and screws, o-rings, nuts and washers everywhere. I had no idea there were that many parts in a coffee pot. Of course, she couldn’t put it back together — and neither could I. She was very apologetic and just kept saying that she got carried away with her “lust for cleaning.”

As I said before, a book could easily be filled with “Bobbie stories.” I’m about to describe one that I think comes close to defining Bobbie as a person…..
We got married in Virginia and Bobbie wasn’t able to come to the wedding. Several years later, she was visiting us and looking through pictures of our wedding and reception. At one point she commented on the picture of a particular girl and that she was very attractive. I said, “do you know what she does for a living?” “She’s a topless dancer.” Bobbie never flinched, or showed any reaction, she just said, “well, I’m sure that is a God-given talent.” Why should this be one of my favorite Bobbie stories? Bobbie never judged — she accepted everyone for what they were. I’ve been told that she did, on occasion, say negative things about some people, but I honestly never heard her say anything bad about anyone. I’m not sure I can say that about anyone else I know. 

Some of the last times I spent with Bobbie and, unfortunately, some of the few times I was able to have a one-on-one conversation with her was a few years ago when the family had annual picnics in Cleveland. For two or three of those years, amazingly, we were able to get “out of the maddening crowd” and spend some time talking. Those conversations were very meaningful to me and actually changed the way I view some things — I’ll always be grateful for those times with her. 

Religion has always been something that I wrestled with over the years. Turns out that Bobbie the Nun has had the same problem. We talked about a number of subjects, but one, in particular, made a big impression on me and truly changed the way I think about prayer. Here’s kind of how the conversation went…. I know that Catholics, and Bobbie, pray to the various Saints and I asked Bobbie if it was alright to pray directly to God. Bobbie thought about it, and said she thought that was perfectly alright. I wondered maybe if everybody prayed directly to God, he’d be too busy to answer all the prayers. Bobbie pondered that a bit and decided that God could handle it. My next question was did she believe God answered every prayer? Bobbie was pretty sure that He does answer every prayer. I expressed some doubt about that — I was pretty sure that all my prayers hadn’t been answered. That’s when Bobbie said something to me that I’ll never forget and it changed a lot of things in my religious beliefs. She said that God does answer every prayer, and sometimes, for reasons known only to God, His answer is no. That made perfect sense to me and I was a little embarrassed that I hadn’t thought about that on my own. 

So even though I never would have thought it when I first met her, Bobbie the Nun had a big impact on my life and has influenced the way I now think about many things. I came to the conclusion many years ago that religion doesn’t, and will never, make any sense. You can’t logically approach anything about religion — it all boils down to faith. And after meeting Bobbie, I became even more convinced. Faith is very important because it highlights both the importance of something greater than ourselves as well as the relative insignificance of things that many/most of us place value upon. 

When things get tough, it can be easy to lose your way, but having faith means knowing that there is always a reason for everything despite how unpleasant or painful the situation might seem at the time. Bobbie never spoke those words to me, but it exemplifies the way she lived.
Knowing what is important in life and not letting unimportant things be the things that define you is vital for a happy, healthy, and fulfilling life. Bobbie did just that.
We know that Heaven will now be sparkling clean, but our world will be an appreciably worse place without her.
— 30 —

A couple of  days ago we all (some of us anyway) celebrated Curmudgeons Day. After thinking about it, I thought I should explain a little about us curmudgeons and why being a curmudgeon isn’t necessarily all bad.

I think that a curmudgeon is basically a pessimist that may have a grumpy outlook because of experience and a realization that the good in the world has been hard-won and is always vulnerable to hare-brained schemes of dreamers and idiots that are everywhere in abundance. I guess a true curmudgeon really doesn’t care whether or not people like him — he’s too old to worry about that — and — his knees hurt. He doesn’t imagine he can change the world. When a new exciting idea comes along, a curmudgeon will wonder about all the disastrous ways it can go wrong — and very often, the curmudgeon turns out to be right.

Motivational speakers, the newest gadgets, diet fads, nutritional supplements, exercise programs and the people that fall for their pitches annoy the curmudgeon because he knows that someone is getting rich off these people, and he wants no part of it.
Of course not everyone should be a curmudgeon — if they were we probably wouldn’t have the wheel, toothbrushes, phones, and other things that have benefited the human race. 

I’ve noticed lately that when I turn on the news, all news is breaking news, everything is an emergency and it must be reported as such to make sure you’re constantly paying attention. That’s another thing that annoys curmudgeons — they take a more methodical, and slower, approach to events.

I’ve watched 60 Minutes for many years and one of my favorites on the program was Andy Rooney. The stories he told often pointed out the absurdity of humankind, and the way he told them helped give a much needed perspective. I think it’s great that some people are grounded enough to point out the obvious absurdities that surround us — Andy Rooney was one of those people… he was a curmudgeon. 

I don’t think a young person can be a curmudgeon. They may be cynical and/or skeptical, but they haven’t lived through enough defeats or suffered enough personal setbacks to be a true curmudgeon. 

So I think the world needs us curmudgeons — if we weren’t around, I’m convinced that our society would careen downhill into chaos very fast.
So I will continue to be a curmudgeon — while I don’t consider myself a churlish old man, I do detest hypocrisy and pretense and I’m compelled to expose these things at every opportunity.
— 30 —