Bobbie the Nun

More than fifty years ago, probably on our first date, I first heard about Claire’s sister, Bobbie the Nun. It was a while later, after we were married, that I first met Bobbie. A lot of the world knew her as Sister Janelle, but she was always Bobbie the Nun to me — and — I guess, to most of the people that really knew her.

My first meeting with her was at the “Mother House,” or as I like to call it, “Headquarters,” in Chardon, Ohio. Before our wedding, there was a big party in Cleveland where I met all of Claire’s family — except Bobbie…. she wasn’t able to attend. So after we were married, while visiting family in Cleveland, we went to Chardon to visit Bobbie. I remember her being excited about just about everything and I noticed her enthusiasm just didn’t stop — she was like a little kid just discovering the world. But over the years I realized that she wasn’t discovering the world — she was just more appreciative of the world than anyone I’ve ever known.

After I met Bobbie, we were out of the country for three years and the summer that we returned, we were in the process of buying a house in Vienna. It turns out that Bobbie was teaching at St. Leo’s school in Fairfax — just a few miles from Vienna. During the summer, all the nuns were on retreat, and their residence was empty. We were living in a motel while looking for a house, and Bobbie insisted that we stay in the convent rather than pay for the motel. 
After we were settled in Vienna and Bobbie and the other Nuns returned to St. Leo’s in the fall, we saw quite a lot of her, being only a few miles apart, and it was my first chance to really get to know her. I had never before met anyone like Bobbie — if I made a list of all the unique people I’ve met during my life, she’d be at the top of my list. I’m sure I could fill a book with “Bobbie stories.” 

We often took Bobbie to the Smithsonian Museums in Washington. One of the first times we took her to the Smithsonian, she was totally fascinated by everything. I remember one exhibit about television news and there was an old kinescope of Edward R. Murrow reading the news — we couldn’t get Bobbie away from that exhibit — she had missed that part of American history when she entered the convent. We finally just went on through the museum without her, because she was reading every single word of every exhibit. Anyhow, the museum announced that it was closing and we couldn’t find Bobbie. The guards finally ushered everyone out and we were on the front steps with no Bobbie. We rang the bell and told the guard that we had lost Bobbie and thought she was still in the museum somewhere. The guard took a deep breath and told us to go around to the back door and wait there. We waited by the “loading dock” door for a long time. Finally, the door opened and one of the guards just kind of “put” Bobbie out, with a sigh and looking very annoyed, said, “here!” Of course Bobbie was just happy as could be and thanked the “nice man” for helping her.

Shortly after we started taking Bobbie places after we moved to Vienna, it became apparent that she had no sense of directions, time or distance. Whenever we took her someplace she wanted to go, it was always about 30 minutes away. One of the first times we took her somewhere she had been before, I asked her if she knew how to get there. She said she did — just go around the beltway and then it’s just a little ways. After we got on the beltway, I asked her which exit I should take and she replied, “this one looks right.” Turns out that to Bobbie, all the beltway exits were the same — she was amazed when we told her that they had numbers and names….. We had a lot of interesting adventures following Bobbie’s directions.

Every time we took Bobbie anywhere in the car, even before we got our seat belts buckled, no matter if we were going to the corner store or to Cleveland, she always began the trip with a “destination prayer” — I’m not sure that’s what it was called, but it was a quick prayer that we got to our destination safely. She always ended the prayer with “…. and please protect us from all the crazies.” This went on for a while and one day I said to Bobbie, “Gee, Bobbie, calling people crazies doesn’t seem like a very Christian thing to do.” I don’t remember her responding to that comment, but she was clearly giving it some thought. After that, she always ended the prayer with “…. and please protect us from all the irresponsible drivers.”

Shortly after we moved to West Virginia, Bobbie came down to visit us — she flew into Dulles and we picked her up at the airport. When we got home, and Bobbie opened her suitcase, there was a note in it from the TSA saying that her bag had been searched. Bobbie wasn’t familiar with the TSA and their procedures, so we explained what had happened. Her reaction was typically Bobbie — she said, “Oh my! I’m glad I packed neatly.” And she thought it was so nice of them to leave her a note as to what they’d done.

During her first visit with us here in West Virginia, Bobbie insisted on cleaning the kitchen and decided the coffee pot really needed a good cleaning. So she proceeded to disassemble the coffee pot down to it’s individual parts — there were springs and screws, o-rings, nuts and washers everywhere. I had no idea there were that many parts in a coffee pot. Of course, she couldn’t put it back together — and neither could I. She was very apologetic and just kept saying that she got carried away with her “lust for cleaning.”

As I said before, a book could easily be filled with “Bobbie stories.” I’m about to describe one that I think comes close to defining Bobbie as a person…..
We got married in Virginia and Bobbie wasn’t able to come to the wedding. Several years later, she was visiting us and looking through pictures of our wedding and reception. At one point she commented on the picture of a particular girl and that she was very attractive. I said, “do you know what she does for a living?” “She’s a topless dancer.” Bobbie never flinched, or showed any reaction, she just said, “well, I’m sure that is a God-given talent.” Why should this be one of my favorite Bobbie stories? Bobbie never judged — she accepted everyone for what they were. I’ve been told that she did, on occasion, say negative things about some people, but I honestly never heard her say anything bad about anyone. I’m not sure I can say that about anyone else I know. 

Some of the last times I spent with Bobbie and, unfortunately, some of the few times I was able to have a one-on-one conversation with her was a few years ago when the family had annual picnics in Cleveland. For two or three of those years, amazingly, we were able to get “out of the maddening crowd” and spend some time talking. Those conversations were very meaningful to me and actually changed the way I view some things — I’ll always be grateful for those times with her. 

Religion has always been something that I wrestled with over the years. Turns out that Bobbie the Nun has had the same problem. We talked about a number of subjects, but one, in particular, made a big impression on me and truly changed the way I think about prayer. Here’s kind of how the conversation went…. I know that Catholics, and Bobbie, pray to the various Saints and I asked Bobbie if it was alright to pray directly to God. Bobbie thought about it, and said she thought that was perfectly alright. I wondered maybe if everybody prayed directly to God, he’d be too busy to answer all the prayers. Bobbie pondered that a bit and decided that God could handle it. My next question was did she believe God answered every prayer? Bobbie was pretty sure that He does answer every prayer. I expressed some doubt about that — I was pretty sure that all my prayers hadn’t been answered. That’s when Bobbie said something to me that I’ll never forget and it changed a lot of things in my religious beliefs. She said that God does answer every prayer, and sometimes, for reasons known only to God, His answer is no. That made perfect sense to me and I was a little embarrassed that I hadn’t thought about that on my own. 

So even though I never would have thought it when I first met her, Bobbie the Nun had a big impact on my life and has influenced the way I now think about many things. I came to the conclusion many years ago that religion doesn’t, and will never, make any sense. You can’t logically approach anything about religion — it all boils down to faith. And after meeting Bobbie, I became even more convinced. Faith is very important because it highlights both the importance of something greater than ourselves as well as the relative insignificance of things that many/most of us place value upon. 

When things get tough, it can be easy to lose your way, but having faith means knowing that there is always a reason for everything despite how unpleasant or painful the situation might seem at the time. Bobbie never spoke those words to me, but it exemplifies the way she lived.
Knowing what is important in life and not letting unimportant things be the things that define you is vital for a happy, healthy, and fulfilling life. Bobbie did just that.
We know that Heaven will now be sparkling clean, but our world will be an appreciably worse place without her.
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