What Would Jimmy Do?

Well, America’s Birthday must be getting close. It’s easy to tell at our house — several days before and several days after the 4th, we are treated to the sight of a Porta Potty when we step out our front door. There is always a big 4th of July party and of course a porta potty has to be placed prominently out front so all of us can enjoy the view… adds a bit of class to the neighborhood.

So since this is a July 4th tradition, I thought it’d be appropriate to focus on the porta potty rather than fireworks, patriotism, freedom, picnics or things like that.
You’d think there would be a ton of information available on a subject like this, but amazingly the facts are pretty muddled. It appears that the porta potty, or at least the concept of the porta potty started on the docks… workers had to make quite a trek to use the “facilities” and these trips impacted the work schedules. Some sort of a “portable” arrangement, usually made of wood was implemented. Eventually the concept was expanded and when fiber glass came along, the contraption became “truly portable.” None of this was patented until 1962 when a patent was issued to George Harding.

While we’re on the subject of toilets, I’ve always heard that Thomas Crapper invented the (flush) toilet. That’s not true, but it makes for a good story. Crapper did hold several patents related to plumbing products, but the one he’s most famous for wasn’t invented by him. The “Silent Valveless Water Waste Preventer” was issued British Patent 4990 in 1898 to — not Thomas Crapper — but a Mr. Albert Giblin.

So as the 4th approaches, think of us, or envy us, having a front row seat for that great American symbol — the Porta Potty.
Have a safe and fun 4th!!
— 30 —

Well, a milestone has come and gone… we had a busy week and I didn’t get around to talking about it here. The milestone was June 25th. On that day every year, it’s exactly six months to Christmas. But more importantly, it’s two of my kids birthdays… that’s right, I said two. You’re probably thinking what a coincidence — two kids born on the same day, and, they’re not twins. Well, it turns out that the two kids are married to each other. Dave and Chassie share the same birthday.

If you’re into astrology, you might make something of this… although I find astrology interesting, I’m not “in to it.” I did read a bit about it, and people born on the same day, same year and same time are termed “time twins.” This doesn’t apply to Dave and Chassie because they weren’t born in the same year. But I got to wondering if there was a word or phrase that described people with the same birthday. As far as I can tell, there is no proper word for the situation. Usually, people with the same birth date are referred to as “birthday twins.” But I did uncover some information that indicated the term “Irish twins” is an accepted description when two people are born on the same day and month but one year apart! That fits Dave and Chassie perfectly.

As I said, it’s been a busy time around our house and theirs… in fact, since their last birthday, their house has changed — literally — they just moved into a new house.
So belated happy birthday to the Irish Twins and for the rest of us, welcome to the countdown to Christmas….
— 30 —

Today is Father’s Day… a day that doesn’t get quite the publicity and fanfare as Mother’s Day, but an important day nonetheless.
Dad is often the guy around the house that you ask when mom says no. But of course he’s much more than that… if he doesn’t have your hand, he’s always got your back.
I’ve heard it said that any guy can be a father, but it takes a lot to be a Dad — happy Father’s Day to the two best Dads I know – Dave and Chris.
— 30 —

I watched a special on the ABC Network last evening about Watergate. I can’t say I heard or saw anything that I hadn’t before, but it brought back memories of what a sorry state the country seemed to be in back then.

I’m not sure why, but I perked up when I heard the term “witch hunt” several times. I had forgotten that Nixon had used the term. This morning I thought about it some more and decided the term jumped out at me because President Trump has used it often in the past few weeks/months. Both Trump and Nixon are and were of the opinion that they are/were treated unfairly.

Of course Trump and Nixon are not the the only politicians to believe they are/were victims of unjust allegations. Hillary Clinton referred to the Whitewater investigations as part of a “vast right-wing-conspiracy.”
I’m not judging anyone — I just don’t remember any other President (or politician) using the term “witch hunt.” I even googled it… and couldn’t find any more.

The point? There is no point — it’s just one of those things that I found interesting and it was a chance to practice my “extensive research” procedures. The only thing my research turned up was that political witch hunts in the U. S. date back to the very earliest days of the republic.
We should all remember the 1692 Salem witch trials, that focused on allegations of witchcraft and ended with the executions of 20 men and women — now that’s a witch hunt!
— 30 —

Today is my best friend’s birthday… If a genie came along to grant me one wish, I’d have to tell him to move along to the next person. I’ve already got what I want in life — Claire. She’s my true “all-in-one” package — wife, best friend, soul-mate and my partner in crime.

It’s interesting that I always strive to come up with the right words to express how I feel about her… there’s always sweetheart, dear, darling, honey, etc. But sometimes I use words that don’t have much, or any, meaning to anyone except us. Just about any word that’s a special part of our language with each other can be special to both of us. Of course the three most powerful words are still, “I love you.”

But sometimes, when trying to express my feelings for Claire, the English language just comes up short. I spent some time in China and they have a phrase — Zhi Zi Zhi Shou, Yu Zi Xie Lao — that means “to hold hands and grow old together.” I like that… of course, in the end, “I love you” always wins out.
Happy Birthday my love and thank you for being you.
— 30 —

As is the case lately, the headlines seem to be mostly about the President. I suspect he likes the publicity — maybe not some of the current publicity, but apparently it’s still publicity to him.

Anyhow, as I think back over the week, the President seems to have a (fairly small) list of favorite words… I didn’t count, but he used zero, terrific, tremendous, huge, bad, amazing, tough, “they,” loser, and stupid a lot. Almost every time I listened to him he used one or more of those words.
I remember during the campaign him saying that he went to an Ivy League school and he was highly educated. I’m pretty sure he said, “I know words. I have the best words.” So who am I to argue that?
Anyhow, where I started with this is that he uses some words and phrases that are just funny to me. I always get a smile when he says “big league” or “bigly.”

And that got me to thinking…  some words are just funny and make us laugh, even though sometimes we don’t know why. Bamboozled, cantankerous, cattywampus, waddle, squeegee and mugwump are funny to me. My dad used to tell me to use my noggin… I always thought that was funny. I think platypus is a funny name for an animal, but if you’re talking about more than one, the plural of platypus is platapie.
I was talking about the President earlier and a funny word that applies often to some of his statements is discombobulate — that means to confuse someone. And as you’ve probably figured out by now, I really had no point to make or really anything to say when I sat down to write this… so it might fall into the harum-scarum category.

I’ve found that looking for humor in words helps me cope with a lot of what I read and hear on the news. Of course I can’t find any humor in a lot of the words that make up the news. When I was little, I was told that “words can never hurt you.” I sure hope that turns our to be true….
— 30 —

We were having a few drinks the other day and, I’m not sure why, but the subject drifted to ancestors and to regrets. Not sure the two subjects are necessarily related, but…
Probably if you ask anyone what they regret when they look back at their lives, just about everyone could come up with at least a few things. If you’re really young, you might think about how you might avoid regrets in the future.

But if you’re anywhere near my age, no matter how happy you are, you have a lot of regrets. We’ve all made lots and lots of miscalculations over the years and probably a few big mistakes that really did make a difference in our lives.
I guess thinking about myself, my regrets basically fall into two categories: things I did that I wish I hadn’t done but did, and things I wish I had done but didn’t. If you think about it, just about everything can be put into one of those categories. At the risk of this becoming a really long blog, I won’t go into details…

I think a lot of people’s biggest regret is wasted time… it’s becoming readily apparent that a lot of things that I figured I’d probably do someday, will never get done. The older you get and you look back on all the truly pointless hours spent doing frivolous things, or “nothing,” it’s disturbing… that time you just can’t get back  and what were realistic possibilities are now pretty much out of the question.

I am a very happy and lucky guy. I’ve never really suffered or been challenged by some significant handicap or misfortune. As far as I know, there has never been any big injustice committed against me. I don’t want a “do-over.” But that doesn’t mean I couldn’t have done better. I really don’t believe it when people say they wouldn’t change a thing. Given the opportunity, I’d certainly change some things — I’d love to have met Claire earlier in my life, but that’s something I couldn’t, by myself, change.  But there are plenty of other things I did have the power to change… and didn’t. I could have spent more time listening and talking to my parents… I could have spent more time with my kids… I could have been nicer to a lot of people — but — I didn’t.
But of all the decisions I’ve made over the years, the most important decision I ever made I got exactly right and I will never have any regrets. She’s got a birthday coming up soon and I’m looking forward to celebrating with her.
— 30 —

We were in the car a few weeks ago and saw a license plate that read, “Nit Noy.” Claire said, “gee, I haven’t heard that expression since Vietnam — what did it mean?” Well, it means “little bit,” but it comes from Thailand, not Vietnam. It was used a lot in Vietnam, but it apparently was picked up by GIs while on R&R in Bangkok…

Well, that got me to thinking — when you live or spend time in a foreign country, you tend to pick up certain words or phrases and more or less integrate them into your “everyday speak” at least while you’re in that country. Often times those expression stick with you throughout life. There are a few that I picked up in Vietnam that I use today — some more often than others.

Just the other day I used the term “dinky dao” when referring to something I heard on the news. Dinky Dao means very crazy, or crazy in the head. I don’t know if it’s significant or not that I use that term more often than I did for a while.

Tori oi (pronounced, “choyee oyee”) is a Vietnamese exclamation that means, Good Heavens, or what the Hell, or actually it can mean just about anything the user wants it to mean. To make the exclamation even stronger, you can say Troi doc oi (choyee duck oyee)

These words and expression have become just a part of my vocabulary over the years. I don’t think about them being foreign expressions. But sometimes when I use them I remember being where I was when I started to use them…
In Vietnam, the streets were flooded with machines called cyclos — three wheeled motorized vehicles with a seat on the front. A cyclo that was pedal or foot powered was called a pedicab.
The Vietnamese currency was piasters — we referred to it as “P’s”
The local beer was known as Ba mui ba and was call beer 33 because the label had a big “33” on it. It may have been the worst tasting beer in the world. It was rumored to be spiked with formaldehyde, but I doubt it… it would have tasted better with formaldehyde.

Sometimes both Claire and myself use the expression ti ti, which means “small.”
I’m not sure if it was the national dish, but nuoc man (pronounced noouk mon) is synonymous with Vietnam – a fermented fish sauce.
The Vietnamese women wore a (usually silk) brightly colored long dress with slits up the side over sort of baggy silk trousers — it was called an Ao-Dai.
During the war, especially, Saigon Tea was pretty famous. It was colored water (sometimes soda) served in thimble-sized glasses… it was basically the price of a hostess’ company in a bar. The hostess got a commission on each drink.

But enough about the past — just thought it was interesting how a simple license plate can turn your mind back to times past. So I’ll just di di mau (dee-dee maow) which means go away or “haul ass.”
— 30 —

A couple of years ago, Kelly gave Claire and myself  books for Christmas. The weren’t books to read — they were books to write… They were entitled, “My Dad” and “My Mom.” Each page posed a question about yourself and your past… the idea being that when filled out, it would be like a mini history of your life.
It was a great idea and of course we haven’t written in either book. But wait, there’s a good reason. While the idea is terrific, each page is way too small to properly address the questions — and — the questions are generic, they don’t specifically apply to us.
We discussed this with Kelly and she agreed and intended to provide a more specific set of questions in a larger format. That hasn’t happened yet, either.

So — I thought I’d take a day or two to jot down some things that might (or might not) be of interest to Kelly and David and maybe even some day to Emily and Locke.
In no particular order, here’s some things I remember that made growing up almost 80 years ago different than today — not saying it was better, or worse — just different.

My parents never wore jeans, or “Levis” as I remember them being called — I’m sure they didn’t even own a pair. In fact I think I was probably in Jr. High before I got my first pair. They were dark blue and had bight orange stitches on all the seams. They also had shiny rivets on the pockets.
I don’t think my Dad ever owned a credit card… maybe my mom did in the later years, I’m not sure. The first credit card I owned was for gas. I got that when I was in my 20s.

We didn’t have a television set in our house until I was about 8 or 9 years old. There were no television stations in the state of Oklahoma until I was 8 or 9 years old. We had the first TV not only in Maysville but also the surrounding towns. It was very big with a very small screen — and, of course, black and white.

I was probably 21 or 22 years old before I tasted my first pizza. It was delivered in a truck — the truck was the whole pizza restaurant, they had an oven and counter and a window in the side where you paid for, and got your pizza. When you called, they came to your house (in my case it was where I worked) stopped at the curb and cooked your pizza — certainly couldn’t say it wasn’t fresh. I think you could get cheese and maybe pepperoni… I don’t remember any of the other “stuff.”

Speaking of food, there wasn’t any “fast food” when I was growing up. We ate at home. If it was a special occasion, we would go to a restaurant, except we called it a cafe. They just served food — like you’d get at home. There was no Italian, Mexican, French, etc. establishments. They just served food. I guess the first “fast food” place I can remember was Dairy Queen. Most everyone just went there for ice cream, but I think you could get a hot dog and maybe even a hamburger. You couldn’t go in though — you had to walk up to the window and order. Most people went back to their cars to eat.

And if you happened to want an alcoholic drink with your meal — forget it! When I was growing up, Oklahoma was a dry state. You couldn’t buy wine or any distilled beverage. It was possible to buy beer, but it was “3.2 beer,” only 3% alcohol content. Of course you couldn’t buy any beer on Sunday. In fact you couldn’t buy much of anything on Sunday… almost all the stores were closed.

We didn’t have “little league” anything. There were no organized sports for kids. If you wanted to play baseball or football or basketball, you found a bunch of kids and just played, It was only when you went to high school that organized sports were available. And soccer — never heard of it when I was young and when I did hear about it, it was a “girls” sport.

Outdoor play consisted of building forts, sliding down hills on pieces of cardboard and if we were lucky enough t ever get any snow, we had snowball fights and tried to build snowmen. We didn’t have skate boards, roller blades, or trail bikes or ATVs… I had a bicycle and I remember my granddad built me a wagon. I think I had pair of roller skates (with a key, not built onto shoes) but if you wanted to go roller skating, you went to a “roller rink.”

I never had a telephone, or radio, in my room. We had a telephone in the “hall” and a radio in the living room. The first phone I remember didn’t have any kind of dial — when you picked it up, the operator already knew who you were and would usually call you by name and ask who you wanted to talk to. Then she would connect you. Almost like a human Siri….

There was no kindergarten in Maysville — when you got to be six year old, you went to the first grade. And if your grades were good enough (we actually got grades, no S’s or U’s) at the end of the year, you were promoted to second grade… and so on. If you didn’t make good grades, you repeated that grade the following year — no one worried that someone that had to repeat a grade would be “ruined for life.” We actually had to do something to receive an award….

Of course we had no computers, or hand-held calculators. We had to memorize the multiplication or “times tables.” We were required to solve math problems using nothing but a pencil and paper!!

When I was young I had a job  as a paperboy. Just about all newspapers were delivered by boys (usually via bicycle) and most boys at one time or another, delivered newspapers. I delivered The Daily Oklahoman and I got to keep a few cents for every paper I delivered…but I had to collect the money from the customers on a weekly basis (I think.)

When you went to the movies, you never saw any of the cowboys, like the Lone Ranger or Gene Autry, actually kill anyone — they would just shoot the gun out of the bad guys hand. No blood and guts.

When we got sick, often the doctor would come to your house!! I’m not making this up….

If by any chance either one of my kids are reading this, they’re laughing like crazy. I think you have to have “been there,” to appreciate it. Since this post is getting pretty long, I’ll continue it later. Growing up today ain’t what it used to be….
— 30 —

The grandkids were out for Easter… hopefully they both had a good time. We dug out a couple of Hess toy trucks to entertain Locke. The trucks belonged to his dad and were in a box of Dave’s toys and things that he had in his room when he was young.
The trucks were a big hit — what little boy doesn’t like trucks? When our kids were little we bought them a toy truck at the a Hess gas station every year. They had a new model each year and they always had real lights that worked and they came with the batteries included. I don’t remember how many we had over the years, but it looks like we only have three left.

The first Hess truck was offered for sale in 1964 at Hess gas stations. It was a tanker truck — an authentic reproduction of the B Mac tanker truck. You could pick one up at Hess gas stations for $1.29 (including batteries.) Since 1964 Hess has sold a different model every year — always at their gas stations, until recently when it became possible to buy them online.
The Hess toy trucks were, and as far as I know, still are made by the Markx Toy Company. The ones we have were all made in Hong Kong. Our “collection” consists of the 1986 Hess Fire Truck, the 1987 Hess 19-Wheeler and the 1988 Hess truck made to haul a racing car — the car was included. The 1987 model started the tradition of the Hess trucks being detailed in white and green.

The Hess Corp. has sold their retail business to Marathon Petroleum, but a few stations still carry the Hess name and color scheme (green and white) and they continue to sell the trucks, beginning around Thanksgiving time every year.
Watching Locke play with the trucks brought back lots of memories of bygone days in our house.
— 30 —