We were having a few drinks the other day and, I’m not sure why, but the subject drifted to ancestors and to regrets. Not sure the two subjects are necessarily related, but…
Probably if you ask anyone what they regret when they look back at their lives, just about everyone could come up with at least a few things. If you’re really young, you might think about how you might avoid regrets in the future.
But if you’re anywhere near my age, no matter how happy you are, you have a lot of regrets. We’ve all made lots and lots of miscalculations over the years and probably a few big mistakes that really did make a difference in our lives.
I guess thinking about myself, my regrets basically fall into two categories: things I did that I wish I hadn’t done but did, and things I wish I had done but didn’t. If you think about it, just about everything can be put into one of those categories. At the risk of this becoming a really long blog, I won’t go into details…
I think a lot of people’s biggest regret is wasted time… it’s becoming readily apparent that a lot of things that I figured I’d probably do someday, will never get done. The older you get and you look back on all the truly pointless hours spent doing frivolous things, or “nothing,” it’s disturbing… that time you just can’t get back and what were realistic possibilities are now pretty much out of the question.
I am a very happy and lucky guy. I’ve never really suffered or been challenged by some significant handicap or misfortune. As far as I know, there has never been any big injustice committed against me. I don’t want a “do-over.” But that doesn’t mean I couldn’t have done better. I really don’t believe it when people say they wouldn’t change a thing. Given the opportunity, I’d certainly change some things — I’d love to have met Claire earlier in my life, but that’s something I couldn’t, by myself, change. But there are plenty of other things I did have the power to change… and didn’t. I could have spent more time listening and talking to my parents… I could have spent more time with my kids… I could have been nicer to a lot of people — but — I didn’t.
But of all the decisions I’ve made over the years, the most important decision I ever made I got exactly right and I will never have any regrets. She’s got a birthday coming up soon and I’m looking forward to celebrating with her.
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