Last week I went to lunch with a couple of friends and at some point, the conversation turned to politics — not uncommon, although we try to limit that topic as much as possible. Anyhow, later that afternoon, I was thinking about the lunch and how I’d enjoyed it. But it occurred to me that while on the subject of politics, it seemed like the term “revenge” came up — a lot.
Well, that got me to thinking about revenge…..
There’s an old saying, “Don’t get mad, get even.” I’ve heard it attributed to Robert F. Kennedy when he was U. S. Attorney General back in the 1960s. I don’t know if that’s true or not.
We’ve probably all wanted to “pay someone back” after an argument or hurtful comment, or wanted to “settle the score” after someone betrays our confidence or breaks our trust.
I think the truth is that in response to a real, or perceived, hurt or slight, most people want to retaliate. The desire for revenge is a common human trait — doesn’t matter about color, gender or race.
So why do we want revenge? One reason is that it certainly makes us feel better. But, and this is going back a long ways, if I remember my psychology courses, the primary emotion or motivation to seek retribution is either anger or fear.
Most of us know that it’s petty-minded or mean-spirited to want revenge. But — we also know how satisfying evening the score would be. Actually, we’re kind of taught this all our lives…. Most of our parents told us not to retaliate, especially against our brothers or sisters. They usually said, something like, “Let Mom and Dad handle it.” But almost in the same breath, they’d tell us to stand up for ourselves — “Don’t let the big kids push you around. Teach them a lesson.” Talk about a mixed message…..
Apparently, forgiveness isn’t something that comes naturally to humans. We seem to have a natural desire for justice — we want to get even because that’s only fair. It restores the natural order of things.
If you listen to or watch the news, it’s apparent that revenge isn’t going away — it seems to be getting worse, or at least getting more publicity. I think it’s sad that revenge became a topic over lunch while discussing our country and government.
I don’t know if there’s a revenge hall of fame, but there probably should be. Revenge can be truly cruel, hurtful and even dangerous, but a lot of it is just petty-stuff between “friends.” It kind of boils down to “getting the last laugh.” Not sure why, but while writing this, I was reminded of an inscription I saw on a gravestone once…. It read “I told you I was sick.” I’m not sure it was put there for revenge, but the person at least got the last laugh.
— 30 —