Those of you who periodically check this blog, have noticed that there have been no entries for the past 3 or 4 months. I’m not even sure I know why, but here’s kind of the way things have gone….
I always wrote the blog for me — actually I rarely even read it, I just wrote it. I usually updated it in the morning, normally with my second cup of coffee…. in recent years I’ve been a slow starter in the mornings. I rushed around every morning for more than 50 years, getting ready for work, the kids off to school, etc. After retirement I enjoyed the leisurely pace in the mornings.
So, many/most mornings, I just sat down at the computer and wrote whatever happened to pop into my head at the time. Occasionally, I wrote about special events like birthdays or weddings, but usually it was just my train of thought at the time. I found it relaxing and a number of people commented on it and said they enjoyed reading it — they probably were just being nice but it made me feel good.
Then a couple of years ago, my entire life changed. Obviously losing Claire was devastating, and something I’ll never recover from, but it was more than that — it seemed like the whole world, not just my world changed. And when I sat down to write something, it came out kind of “dark,” and maybe a little bit depressing. I realized that maybe it wasn’t the world, but just me — I knew I’d changed but I didn’t realize how much. I didn’t enjoy jotting down my thoughts anymore — I didn’t even like my thoughts anymore.
So I figured I’d done the blog long enough and decided to just end it. I knew I should have a “final” entry and end it properly, but I never got around to it. My intention remains to end it, but recently a number of people have encouraged me to continue.
I don’t know what I’ll do — I’m going to give it some serious thought before deciding “What Would Jimmy Do.” Therefore…… this may be the end — or — maybe not.
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