Guilty or Not Guilty

I’ve experienced just about every emotion that exists over the past months, and one of them is guilt. I’m pretty sure guilt is something that just about everyone struggles with from time to time. But I was just thinking — we often think of guilt in an unfavorable way. Claire used to speak of “Catholic guilt” from time to time. 

And I guess, if you think about it, guilt is not always a bad thing. According to Charles Darwin, emotions evolved to help us respond to out environments. Guilt, like other human emotions, serves important functions in our lives and is often helpful. 

Psychologists say that guilt is the feeling of regret for something we have done. There are various kinds of guilt, or at least various degrees of guilt. If you gave up drinking for lent and you had a drink, that’s a relatively minor guilt. If you said something bad about one of your best friends, that’s a more serious kind of guilt. And if you do something like cheat on your wife, that’s a much more serious, or deep-seated kind of grief. 

Usually, when I feel guilty, I have the urge to do something to “fix” whatever made me feel guilty. If it’s something like taking a drink during lent, just saying, “I won’t do that again” is usually enough. If I’m feeling guilty about something that had an impact on someone else, probably at least an apology is in order and maybe some work to repair a relationship, or something like that. Really bad guilt is much harder — that’s something that just eats on you and we feel miserable about whatever wrong we’ve done. 

Guilt is the result of two related processes — the standards we hold for ourselves and our interpretation of our behavior against those standards. When it comes to evaluating guilt in todays world, it’s the underlying beliefs that matter.

So what about a person who experiences no guilt? I’m pretty sure that that’s at least part of the definition of a psychopath — someone with no sense of guilt. People like that exist…. people that practice human trafficking, unethical business practices, bombings, terrorism, drug pushers, serial killers…. maybe even future “leaders” of our country. 

So maybe guilt can be a good thing sometimes for good people… for bad people, it’s probably not even a “thing.” 
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Call Home

Every day, for close to a year now, I’ve gone to  the St. Agnes Columbarium Garden to visit with Claire. A number of people have asked me why I do that. I guess I probably don’t have a good answer — it’s just something I do. Maybe something I remember from a long time ago might help explain it.

During the Vietnam War, there was a man who stood in front of the White House night after night with a candle, often alone. One rainy night a reporter stopped to interview him. He asked, “Do you really think you’re going to change the policies of this country by standing out here alone at night with a candle?” The man replied, “I don’t stand out here to change the policies of the country. I stand out here so the policies don’t change me.”

Even though life has changed, I don’t want to change. My daily visit isn’t just a habit — it’s much more. Visiting with Claire anchors my life. She is so important to me, and my relationship with her means so much to me, that I set aside time each day to communicate directly with her — it’s like giving her a call every day. To keep up my hope and assure her I’ll never forget, I keep my daily appointment with her.
It’s what I do.
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Last

I was just thinking that I’ve heard the word “last” a lot lately. Some of it, of course, is because one year was ending and another starting. I heard people say this is the last time I’ll have to do so-and-so this year… things like that.

But anyhow, I got to thinking — last is a pretty important word in our language and we probably all use it more than we think. I always listen to the radio in my car when I’m driving and I’ve noticed “last” is a pretty popular word with song writers. I remember one of our favorite songs was “I Won’t Last A Day Without you” by the Carpenters. But there are tons of others, like: Last Dance, Save The Last Dance For Me, One Last Time, You’re The First, The Last, My Everything, Our Last Summer, Last Thing On My Mind, and lots and lots more.

And it’s a part of our everyday language — we’ve all heard, “take a picture, it’ll last longer” when someone is staring and no one wants to come in dead last and the last supper sounds ominous. 
Everyone knows that nice guys finish last and a lot of us wait until the last minute to get things done and when someone buys something expensive or splurges on something we say he’s the last of the big spenders.

And it’s always nice to have the last laugh and we all know that he who laughs last laughs best. Some people think it’s important to get the last word and when we finally accomplish something, it’s so nice to sigh and say —  at last! And then there’s always that last chance or last hurrah and of course there’s the last out. But don’t forget those famous last words — “if it’s the last thing I do.”

And last but not least, if you read the Bible, Matthew 20:16 says, “So the last will be first, and first will be last.”
By now, I know some of you are hoping this will be my last post, but I leave you with this: Live every day as if it were your last, because one of these days, it will be.
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W-T-F

For some reason, we still get paper calendars in the mail. We used to give them to Bobbie the Nun — I’m not sure what she did with them, but she was always excited when we sent them to her. The ones we got for this year, I’ll just recycle — so if you want one, let me know right away.

Anyhow, I was looking at the one from the Smithsonian and something caught my eye. I admit I’ve been a little (probably a lot) on the pessimistic side of things lately, but when I looked at the 2025 calendar, I noticed that the first three days of 2025 are Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. I’ve recently looked for signs in everything and everywhere — and — the first sign of 2025 just jumped out. The acronym for the first three days of the year is WTF. The pessimistic me immediately thought this was a bad omen. 

I certainly had been hoping for a really good year in 2025, but I just had this uneasy feeling. I won’t exactly call it extensive research, but flipping through my phone, it appears that the last time a year started out on a Wednesday was 2020…. we probably all know what 2020 was like…. think COVID.

I also noticed that January of 2025 will have 5 Wednesdays, 5 Thursdays and 5 Fridays. I’m pretty sure that doesn’t happen too often. That means that not only will we start out January with the W-T-F but we’ll also finish the month with another W-T-F.

Well, I’m not sure if this W-T-F start is really a bad omen or not. But you might want to dig out that rabbit’s foot or burn some incense just to be on the safe side.
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Predictions

I had previously wondered about 2025 starting out as a potentially bad year, and the news from New Orleans didn’t make me feel any better. I guess it’s only natural to wonder about the future. For years I’ve been fascinated by Nostradamus. I’ve read a about him over the years and some of his predictions that he made so long ago appear to have been pretty accurate. I agree that a lot of what he wrote was kind of vague and subject to interpretation, but without using much imagination, some of his writings seem pretty accurate. The only other “seer” that I’ve read much about is Baba Anga, who’s also made some pretty amazing predictions.

In case you’re not familiar with them, Nostradamus was a 16th-century French astrologer and physician. A book he published in 1555 — Les Propheites — contains over 900 4-line “stanzas” that have been interpreted as predictions of future events. Baba Vanga was a Bulgarian mystic and healer that lost her sight at a young age. Even with her disability, she became renowned for her accurate predictions, including significant events like the Chernobyl disaster and the 9/11 strikes.

I was curious and did some extensive research to see if either of these prophets had predicted anything that might happen in 2025. Of course, you can find anything you want on the Internet, but I found an interesting article that indicated recent interpretations of both their prophecies suggest they foresee severe global challenges in 2025.

Nostradamus warned, “the ancient plague will be worse than enemies.” That may indicate that Europe may face another pandemic along with “cruel wars.” He also highlighted natural disasters, and predicted that Brazil will experience volcanic activity and deadly flooding. 

Baba Vango predicted conflict would erupt between two countries in mainland Europe, leading to devastating consequences. She suggested that these events could trigger a global apocalypse. And — she envisioned alien encounters during major global events and anticipated that humans would achieve perfect telepathy during the year. But — on a darker note, she predicted a “Martian war” with aliens. 

Naturally, interpretations of Nostradamus and Baba Vanga’s prophecies vary —some view their predictions as literal, but others think they carry symbolic meanings. No matter… both of them evoke fear and fascination because of their forecasts of war and chaos. 
One of the reasons Nostradamus, especially, has captivated audiences is that many of his predictions have proven to be correct. He is credited with foreseeing the rise of Adolph Hitler, the French Revolution, and the assassination of John F. Kennedy. His predictions also included the COVID pandemic and the 9/11 attacks. As I mentioned earlier, Baba Vanga accurately predicted the Chernobyl disaster, but she also predicted the death of Princess Diana, and the emergence of ISIS, so she has a pretty good reputation as a powerful seer.

So as we enter 2025, it’ll be interesting to keep Nostradamus and Baba Vanga’s predictions in mind. They both warn of conflict, pandemics and global catastrophes. So both believers and skeptics can make their case. But I’m especially interested in the alien invasion prediction. I’ve been reading a lot about drone sightings over New Jersey…. just sayin……
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Hello 2025

Hello 2025,
In 2024 I met suffering, sadness, trauma and misery.
And — grief came into our house.
I welcome you with no expectations or resolutions and I hope you will be kinder and take nothing from me.
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Happy New Year

A couple of days ago I talked about some of the more famous “drops” that occur on New Year’s Eve. But it occurred to me that I’ve welcomed in the new year in lots of places over the years and a lot of those places have some odd traditions.

Here in the U.S. we tend to celebrate with fireworks, parties, festive food and booze and of course a lot of people think its’s necessary to sing Auld Lang Syne.  But in some parts of the world the new year is celebrated with their own traditions — many of them handed down for many years, but still practiced. A few of these traditions I’ve witnessed in person and some I’ve heard about from others…. I thought it might be interesting to mention a few.

I remember in the Philippines they had what I thought was strange tradition — on New Year’s Eve round was the king. Round fruits were consumed, and clothing with round patterns (circles or polka dots) were worn. The shape was thought to bring good luck. Coins are round, and those represented prosperity.
The Greeks have a new year tradition of hanging an onion on their door. It’s said to symbolize rebirth, as the onion peels away to revel many layers. They also have a tradition that parents should gently bop their kids on the head with an onion to wake them up on New Year’s Day. 

I’ve never witnessed it, but effigies of famous people, newsworthy politicians, and cartoon characters are set on fire on New Year’s Eve in Ecuador. The effigies are usually of a relevant figure representing the year that’s past — the burning represents cleansing the bad and welcoming in the good.
If you’re in Japan at midnight on December 31, you’ll hear bells ring 108 times. It’s a practice called Joya-no-Kane. The bells are rung from Buddhist temples all across the country. The number 108 represents what is known in the faith as the “Earthly temptations.” I haven’t been there in a number of years, but I’d bet that tradition is still followed.

Finland has a really unique New Year’ Eve activity that has a fortune-telling aspect to it….
Finns melt a mini tin horseshoe in a pan until it completely melts and turns to liquid. Then they pour the metallic goo into a cold bucket of water, that instantly cools it and it becomes solid again. Whatever shape the melted horseshoe takes is said to represent what’s to come in the new year. I would guess they’d wish for a heart, or four-leaf clover or something like that….

We were with our friends the Oxforts for number of years on New Year’s Eve and they shared a German tradition — in Germany (especially southern Germany) everyone ate a Berliner doughnut (Called Krapfen, I think) on New Year’s Eve or New Year’s Day. They are frosted doughnuts that were once reserved as a festive treat — the Oxforts usually used melty chocolate or vanilla cream. They’re really good with champagne, by the way.

There is an old tradition in Ireland of banging specially-baked Christmas bread against the walls. On New Year’s Eve the bread is thrown against doors and walls in your house. It’s supposed to help bat away lingering bad spirits and make some room for the good ones. Some of our friends from Ireland said it was a very old tradition and not practiced much today — but it does sound like fun.
In Scotland, they have a tradition known as “first-footing.” The first person to cross the threshold of a home after midnight should bring gifts like coal, shortbread, or whisky, symbolizing future prosperity.

A tradition  in Czechoslovakia involves cutting an apple in half to reveal the future. If there is a star in the core it suggest good fortune.
And Russians write their wishes on paper, burn them, and mix the ashes in champagne, symbolizing the infusion of hope and dreams into the New Year celebrations.

Everyone celebrates and starts the new year a little differently, but every tradition has it’s own charm and significance. I think it’s great that these customs bring people together and symbolize hope, renewal and joy for a fresh start.
So here’s to the New Year — my favorite toast goes something like, “May the tears you cried this year water the soil of next year.”
Happy New Year to all!!
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Coming To An End

Well, 2024 is — thankfully — nearing the end. I’ve never been happier to see a year end. And end it will, and people will celebrate on New Year’s Eve. I guess one of the most famous New Year’s Eve celebrations is watching the ball drop in Times Square. For some reason, New Year’s Eve seems to be the time for people to watch something “drop” and it doesn’t have to be a ball….

All across America there are numerous famous “drops” to celebrate the New year.
In Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, the birthplace of PEEPS, they lower a 400-pound chick on New Year’s Eve. It’s part of Bethlehem’s annual PEEPSFEST, a celebration that includes tastings of unique PEEPS flavors, scavenger hunts and other family-friendly activities. They also have a diorama competition where contestants enter tiny scenes made of Peeps.

If you happen to be in Boise, Idaho on New Year’s Eve, you can witness the Potato Drop. Boise’s famous 17-foot glowing potato is the star of their New Year’s Eve celebration.

And it may sound a little cheesy, but in Plymouth, Wisconsin the Sartori Big Cheese Drop ushers in the new year. Probably appropriate for the self-proclaimed Cheese Capital of the World. The Plymouth Fire Department lowers a huge wedge of Sartori BellaVitano Gold Cheese — at 10 pm. So you can have your wine and cheese or champagne early and still toast the new year at midnight.

You probably know that in Pennsylvania, a big Hershey Kiss is dropped in (duh) Hershey, but in Lebanon, Pennsylvania, they have a real live Bologna Drop! Twenty pounds of bologna is attached to a disco ball and lowered by a crane in downtown Lebanon to ring in the new year. After the big drop, the meat (provided by Godshall’s) that is dropped and an additional 130 pounds is donated to people in need (the meat that is dropped is “safely” wrapped.)

One of the best celebrations is in Tallapoosa, Georgia. They lower a possum at midnight as an ode to the town’s nickname, Possum Snout. The possum is stuffed, but it’s still pretty cool. And to make the event family friendly, there’s an an earlier Possum Drop at 9 pm for the little ones. 

But it turns out that we live very near a traditional New Year’s Eve celebration that a lot of people don’t know about. We always referred to it as Krumpe’s Donut Drop. If you’ve ever visited us, we’ve probably taken you to Krumpe’s  Do-Nuts. It’s in Hagerstown, Maryland — very near where we live. It’s located in an alley in Hagerstown. It really is an alley and fairly recently it was officially named “Do-Nut Alley.” Krumpe’s has been making donuts for more than 80 years. But anyhow, on New Year’s Eve, Krumpe’s passes out donuts to the first 5,000 people to arrive — and — there’s also free hot chocolate and coffee. And the best thing? The “donut drop” begins at 6:59 pm — so you can have your donut and coffee to keep you awake until midnight….

No matter how you plan to celebrate this year’s end, or even if you don’t intend to celebrate at all, Benjamin Franklin left us some good advice and this time of year is a good time to ponder it…”Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man.”
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Merry Christmas

For many years, I’ve done an (almost) annual Christmas blog. I’ve celebrated Christmas a lot of times in a lot of places. They were all different, and all special. This year Christmas is different, but not special. But here goes — my (almost) annual Christmas blog.

I got to wondering the other day — we celebrate the birth of Jesus on Christmas, but we don’t really think much about him, at least not as a baby.
I was wondering…. how much did he weigh when he was born, and was he a cute baby? Most people think all babies are cute so I expect most would have thought Jesus was cute. But maybe since they thought He was the messiah or a great prophet, they’d probably think he would have been cute just because they’d have positive thoughts about him. But if he was so wise, maybe he looked like a serious little old man. Since there were no iPhones, I guess we can’t know for sure, but I think he was probably cute.

As to how much he weighed, so far as I know, the weight of Baby Jesus isn’t recorded in the Bible — or any historical texts. His birth is described in the Gospels of Matthew and Luke, but they focus more on the circumstances of his birth rather than specific physical details. Given that He was born as a human child, a good guess would be that he weighed within the typical range of newborn’s weight — probably between five and a half and eight and a half pounds. Of course that’s based purely on speculation. 

So now that that’s out of the way, here’s some more stuff you — like me — have been  wondering about….
“Silent Night” was first sung as part of a church service in Austria. a guitar was used because the church organ was so badly rusted it couldn’t be played.
Guatemalan adults do not exchange Christmas gifts until New Year’s Day. Children get theirs (from the Christ Child) on Christmas morning.
In North America, children put stockings out at Christmas time. Their Dutch counterparts use shoes.
The poinsettia, a traditional Christmas flower, originally grew in Mexico, where it is also known as the “Flower of the Holy Night.” Joel Poinsett first brought it to America in 1829.
When visiting Finland, Santa leaves his sleigh behind and rides on a goat named Ukko. Finnish folklore says that Ukko is made of straw, but is strong enough to carry Santa Clause anyway.
When distributing gifts in Holland, St. Nicholas is accompanied by his servant, Black, who is responsible for actually dropping the presents down the chimneys. He also punishes bad children by putting them in a bag and carrying them away to Spain. 
In Syria, Christmas gifts are distributed by one of the Wise Men’s camels. The gift-giving camel is said to have been the smallest one in the Wise Men’s caravan. 
There are 364 gifts mentioned in “The Twelve Days of Christmas.”
The Puritans forbade the singing of Christmas carols.
America’s official national Christmas tree is located in King’s Canyon National Park in California. The tree, a giant sequoia called the “General Grant Tree,” is over 300 feet high, and was made the official Christmas tree in 1925.
Artificial Christmas trees have outsold real ones since 1991.
Franklin Pierce was the first president to decorate an official White House Christmas tree. 
Electric Christmas lights were first used in 1854.

So to both my faithful readers, and everyone else, and no matter how your celebrate — have a Merry Christmas. 
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A Pair

One thing I’ve always kind of wondered about — how come we say a “pair” of pants when its only one item of clothing. Other one items like a shirt or coat aren’t a pair. It seems like the bottom half of our clothes are plural for some reason — how come?

From what I’ve heard, it all stems from the history of language and how these garments were originally constructed and or conceptualized. 
I guess maybe there’s some truth to that, but I decided it would be worth me digging into a little deeper — but not too deep.

Certainly we all accept that there are dozens of exceptions to the “rules” of English and pants certainly fall into that category — why on Earth do you say “a pair of pants” when the “pants” in question are only one item?

The most popular explanation is that the phrase “pair of pants” harkens back to the days when what constituted pants — or pantaloons, as they were originally known — consisted of two separate items, one for each leg. They were put on one at a time and then secured around the waist. Calling them a pair of pantaloons, or pants, as they were eventually known, made sense when there were two components. The phrasing was retained even after pants were made into one complete garment. But actually, if you look, there doesn’t seem to be much evidence to support this theory. 

Another theory, that I kind of like because like most everything today, it’s a little complicated and confusing. 
The word pants is a plurale tantum. What is that, you ask? The Oxford English Dictionary defines plurale tantum, which is Latin for “plural only,” as a “noun which is used only in plural form, or which is used only in plural form in a particular sense or senses.” The word pants is a plurale tantum so it can only be used in plural form. I guess I’ve led a sheltered life, but “plurale tantum” was new to me. Plurale tantum words are nouns and are usually items that can be divided into two even though they are only one item — like, scissors, tweezers, sunglasses, binoculars, pliers, glasses, etc. That’s the reason they are often preceded by a “pair of” — so — that’s why we say a “pair of pants.”
I guess I should probably have paid more attention in English class……
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