What Would Jimmy Do?

On July 30, I put my thoughts on “paper” via this blog as to how I was feeling exactly six months after Claire passed away. It was an exercise suggested by someone that thought putting your feelings in writing would help you deal with a difficult situation like grief. 

I did that — and — it honestly wasn’t much help. But I said that in another six months I would sit down and put my feelings on paper again…. and then compare it to what I wrote six months ago. At the time I expressed hope that what I am about to write today would show some progress on my journey through this thing that is apparently called grief. 

But before I start, these are my words to Claire today — you can read it or skip over it. I don’t mind you reading it, but it’s for Claire…. the light of my life and the accumulation of all the good that ever happened to me.

Menoi,
I think about you all the time. My memories of you are as vivid as ever — like pictures frozen in time. I remember your eyes and the way they would sparkle when you were happy and sometimes darken with the weight of your worries. And I loved to hear you laugh — your laugh was infectious. I remember how you could always change the mood with just your look. 
I remember the feel of your body against me — the comfort in the way we fit together. I remember holding you and how you would sigh with contentment, and I knew that in those moments, everything was right in our world. Your touch always gave me a sense of calm and belonging I’ve never found anywhere else.
I always loved your smile and how your eyes would light up when you made me laugh. Sometimes it seemed like making me happy was all you ever wanted, and you were good at it  — very, very good at it — you made me feel loved and wanted. 
I’m not sure I remember everything, but I remember a lot and I hold on to those memories dearly, because that’s what I’ve got left now. I never imagined I would have to live without you. You’re certainly still with me, right here in my heart, in all those memories. It’s not the same, but it carries me through.
I often just looked at you and was always amazed that someone like you could love me. I tried to tell you how much I loved you often, and when I did, your smile was like sunshine on a cloudy day — it truly lit up the room. I miss seeing that smile every morning — no matter how bad the day, your smile could fix it.
I miss you when something good happens, because you’re the one I want to share it with. I miss you when something is troubling me, because you’re the one that understood and made me feel better, but I miss you most when I lay awake at night and think of all the wonderful times we spent together. 
I told you I’d love you always and forever — and I meant it. That promise didn’t end when you left. You may not be here physically, but you are always with me in spirit. In my heart, we are still together, just like we always were. Just like the words in that song that made me cry at your funeral….. “and everywhere I am, there you’ll be.” 
There’s an emptiness in my life without you that can never be filled, but I carry you with me in my thoughts, in my memories and in the love for you that will always live within me — I try to tell myself you aren’t truly gone.
You are forever in my heart.

Ok — so where do I stand today and what have I learned in the past year?
Losing Claire literally changed every single thing in my world. The way I eat changed, the way I watch TV changed, my circle of friends changed (or disappeared entirely.) My family dynamic changed, my financial status changed. I have re-evaluated my self worth and my confidence. The way I breathe changed, my mentality and my brain function changed. My sense of humor changed… every — single — thing changed.
I was handed a new life that I never asked for and I don’t want. 
Throughout the year people have told me I’d get “better,” and that in time I’d “recover.” As expected, that sounded ridiculous to me. If you look up recovery in the dictionary, it means to return to a normal state of health, mind, or strength. I read that to mean to regain what was lost, or to be compensated for what was taken. Well, here’s the problem… things are not going to just go back to normal. There’s been a big hole torn in my life, and no matter what happens next, it won’t compensate for that hole. Claire can’t come back. That loss can’t be regained. So by the dictionary definition, there is absolutely no point that I will “recover” from her loss. Now if there is no “healing” in terms of being as good as new and I can’t “recover,” what do I do?
That, of course, is my real problem — how do I find ways to live with my loss. I can’t fix that hole — how do I build my life around the edge of it? 
I don’t think you overcome grief — you learn to live along side of it — and you learn to survive.

What did the last year teach me?
That time doesn’t heal.
That you don’t lose someone once — you lose them every day….probably for a lifetime.
There really is nothing lonelier than outliving someone you love.
I think I’ve learned that suffering doesn’t make  you stronger, or build character — it just hurts.
Life can be very cruel.
I’ve learned who my friends are.
Someone telling me that I’ll never be given more than I can handle doesn’t make me feel any better.
I guess apparently the body doesn’t run out of tears.
A heart can break.
Not everything happens for a reason.
I have no time for bullshit.
You don’t die from grief — I wish you did.
Grief is kind of like when your entire world falls apart and no one else’s life changes.
But the most important thing I’ve learned about grief is that it’s a long hard road with no end — and, it’s relentless.
— 30 —

If you’ve read this blog over the years, you know that Chinese New Year is one of the many, many “holidays” that we always celebrated. This year, the Lunar New Year starts (today) on January 29 — and it will be the beginning of the Year of the Snake. If you’d like to get technical, it’s the year of the Wood Snake, and that only happens every 60 years. I’m sure that you know that the Chinese calendar follows the Lunar calendar in which the calendar year is divided according to the phases of the moon. The Lunar calendar is a 532-year period over which both the lunar months and the days of the week return to the same point in relation to the solar year. In case you’re interested, this is called a lunisolar calendar. 

The year begins on the day of the second new Moon after the winter solstice, and that always occurs in late December. That means that the first day of the Lunar New Year can occur anytime between January 21 and February 20.

This year (2025) the second new Moon will occur — in China — on Wednesday, January 29, marking the start of a new lunar year. I should mention that China follows the Gregorian calendar for daily business but still follows the Chinese calendar for important festivals, and special dates like wedding dates and the Moon phases.

Even though we usually refer to the holiday as the “Chinese New Year,” China isn’t the only country that observes it. A more universal name is the Spring Festival and it’s the most celebrated, and longest, of all Asian festivals. It’s observed by millions of people worldwide. Vietnam, Korea, Japan, and the Philippines are among some countries that hold their own New Year celebrations. 

It’s common knowledge that each Chinese year is assigned one of 12 animal signs, but each year is also associated with one of five elements. The 12 animals are: Rat, Ox, Tiger, Rabbit, Dragon, Snake, Horse, Goat, Monkey, Rooster, Dog, and Pig. The five elements are: Wood, Fire, Earth, Metal, and Water. Each year of the 60-year Chinese zodiac cycle is associated with one of the five elements and one of the 12 animal signs. 
Combining one of the elements with the zodiac sign adds a unique “flavor” to each year.
Here are the five elements and their associated traits:
Wood — Imagination and creativity
Fire — Passion and dynamic energy
Earth — Down-to-earth and pragmatic
Metal — Solidity and willpower
Water — Responsiveness and persuasion

I was born in the Year of the Tiger, and according to the Chinese Zodiac, here’s what the new year has in store for me:
Tiger — Some tension: avoid confrontation and focus on personal development.
I guess that’s not too bad — I’ll take it.
Happy New Year to everyone.
— 30 —

For years, our good friend Winfried had a sign hanging in his office that read, “Everyone should believe in something — I believe I’ll have another beer.”

I was thinking about that the other day, and it occurs to me that a lot of famous, or well-known people have been given credit for quotes about alcohol. Winston Churchill is credited with a number of fairly famous quotes, like “My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them.”
So alcohol has been on the minds of lots of famous people, and the subject of many parables and even has its place in the Bible.

Here’s some examples….
Good wine is a good familiar creature if it be well used ~ William Shakespeare (from Othello)
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy ~ Benjamin Franklin
Wine is a living liquid containing no preservatives ~ Julia Child
You are not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on ~ Dean Martin
I’m not a heavy drinker; I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop ~ Noël Coward
Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. ~ Ernest Hemingway
Wine is bottled poetry ~ Robert Louis Stevenson
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? ~ W. C. Fields
Good company, good wine, good welcome, can make good people. ~ William Shakespeare (Henry Viii)
Good wine is a necessity of life for me ~ Thomas Jefferson
In victory, you deserve champagne; in defeat, you need it. ~ Napoleon Bonaparte
When I read about the evils of drink, I gave up reading ~ Henny Youngman
Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough ~ Mark Twain
Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy ~ Frank Sinatra
Wine is sunlight, held together by water ~ Galileo
He was a wise man who invented beer ~ Plato
The water was not fit to drink. To make it palatable, we had to add whiskey. By diligent effort, I learned to like it. ~ Winston churchill
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. ~ Ernest Hemingway
Work is the curse of the drinking classes ~ Oscar Wilde
There can be nothing more frequent than an occasional drink ~ Oscar Wilde
Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication ~ Lord Byron
There can’t be good living where there is not good drinking ~ Benjamin Franklin
It is a fair wind that blew men to the ale ~ Washington Irving
Let us have wine and women, mirth and laughter, sermons and soda water the day after ~ Lord Byron
Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer ~ Arnold Schwarzenegger
Drinking is a way of ending the day ~ Ernest Hemingway

And a lot of well-known, and not so well-known, provers involve alcohol….
It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the wine, or any other reason. ~ Latin Proverb
What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for ~ Irish Proverb
Do not cease to drink beer, to eat, to intoxicate thyself, to make love, and to celebrate the good days. ~ Ancient Egyptian proverb
What soberness conceals, drunkenness reveals ~ Proverb
But the greatest love — the lover above all loves — Even greater than that of a mother, is the tender, passionate, undying love, of one beer-drunken slob for another ~ Irish Proverb

And even the Bible talks about drinking….
Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts. Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more ~ Proverbs 31:6

So it seems appropriate that tomorrow, we all raise our glass and give a cheer — to the Chinese New Year!
— 30 —

I went to lunch with a friend a few days ago and after we’d talked a while, he remarked that we seemed to be telling each other stories. I got to thinking about that…..
The habit of telling stories is one of the most primitive characteristics of the human race. People have always told stories. The oldest stories are the myths. If you look up myth, the dictionary says….”a traditional story, especially one concerning the early history of people or explaining some natural or social phenomenon, and typically involving supernatural beings or events.” Myths were the answers of primitive science to lots of questions — the explanation of the thunder or the rains, or the origin of man, or fire or maybe of disease or death. These stories often personified natural forces and portrayed them as gods, spirits, or mythical creatures. In a lot of ancient cultures, myths were used to explain the origins of human beings, the development of social structures, and often the relationship between humanity and the divine. 

As civilizations evolved, so did myths. They were integrated into various civilizations’ cultural and political narratives. And they found their way into religious texts, with stories of creation, divine intervention and the afterlife. When written languages began, myths began to be recorded — preserving them for future generations and they evolved into literary forms, like epic poetry, plays and novels. Myths began as oral, but they became central to the development of literature and the arts and influenced everything from Renaissance art to modern storytelling in books, movies and television. 

But while the higher, or more sophisticated myths were being transformed into art or religions of the civilized man, the ways of thinking that produced them in their original form survived in stories of less sophistication or dignity and made no claim to be either science or religion — they were just told because they entertained. These kinds of tales have come down from mouth to mouth in less sophisticated or educated communities – some many have been lost, but a number have been saved.

Some of the earlier written ones are the Aesop Fables. Today, Aesop isn’t much more than a name. He was a slave from the island of Samos in about the sixth century before Christ.His name is associated with the special use of the fable for political purposes at a time when the reign of the tyrants in Greece made unveiled speech dangerous. About two hundred and fifty years after Aesop’s time, Demetrius of Phaleron collected a lot of fables and and called them by Aesop’s name and a version of these was turned into Latin verse. That collection is the main source of the modern “Aesop,” but no one can be sure that any one fable that exists today is really the invention of the Samoan slave.
— 30 —

You can tell it’s a slow time of year around here — yesterday my neighbor and myself got tired of politics and sports and we got to wondering what the world’s oldest joke was. Well, time for some extensive research on my part. 

No one really know what the oldest joke that was ever told was, but there seems to be total agreement as to what the oldest example of recorded humor was and it dates back to at least 1900 BC. Here’s the joke — “Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband’s lap.” The “joke” is a Sumerian proverb that warns new husbands about their flatulent brides. The joke was found on tablets from the Old Babylonian period — some believe they may date back as far as 2300 BC.
The joke’s humorous observation was likely an example of playful and relatable humor of the time, reflecting human nature and everyday lives in ancient civilizations. 

I was so pleased with my successful search, I thought I’d see if I could find the world’s second oldest joke. And — once again, success. The world’s second oldest joke likely appeared in the Ancient Egyptian story book known as the Westcar Papyrus — written some time between 1800-1600 BC. 
“How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish.”

I’m not sure how these jokes have weathered the test of time — you probably won’t hear them in any of the comedy clubs or late night television today, but I bet if you were living back then you’d have thought they were pretty funny.
— 30 —

Well, I tried to just ignore the rest of the world today. It’s brutally cold and lot of snow on the ground — good day to just stay in in do nothing. But — in this day and age, it’s almost impossible to shut the outside world out. Everything on the Internet and news services is about what the new president’s first, and second days were like. 

It seems like once again, President Trump is going to give “governing by Executive Order” a go. He seems to be hitting on a lot of targets… wants to rename the Gulf of Mexico — apparently that’s important to making America great again. But it seems like maybe the one executive order that is drawing the most attention is the one that addresses citizenship by birth or “birthright citizenship.”

I’ve read the U.S. Constitution more in the past few years than I ever did before. I think it makes it pretty clear that all people born in the United States and subject to its laws are citizens — regardless of their parents’ immigration status. That principle was recognized by the U.S. Supreme Court more than 125 years ago. 

If I read the Executive Order correctly, it doesn’t apply to current US citizens, and is not retroactive — it only attempts to deprive “persons who are born within the United States “after 30 days from the date of this order” of citizenship.

Well, I never really thought about it much before and it certainly wasn’t on my agenda for today, but I figured some extensive research was in order….
Like most things, this subject lends itself to making things as complicated as you want them to be. 
But after you sort through everything, it doesn’t seem all that complicated.
Birthright citizenship applies to all children born in a country that recognizes the principle of “jus soli” (right of the soil,) regardless of the immigration status of their parents.
I’m sure there are other categories, but here’s some…
Children of Legal Immigrants — If a child is born in a jus soil country to parents who are legal immigrants (e.g., holding visas, green cards, or permanent residency,) the child typically acquires citizenship by birth in that country.
Children of Illegal or Undocumented Immigrants — Children born in a jus soli country to undocumented or illegal immigrants also gain citizenship at birth. (The 14th Amendment guarantees citizenship to “all persons born or naturalized in the United States,” regardless of the legal status of their parents.)
Non-Immigrant Visitors — Birthright citizenship can also apply to children born to temporary visitors, such as tourists, students, or business travelers, as long as they are born on the country’s soil.
Countries like the United States and Canada, and many in Latin America grant birthright citizenship universally. But some countries have restrictions, and citizenship might not be automatic if the parents are foreign diplomats or representatives of another government.

It’ll be interesting to see how it plays out, but I’m sure we’ll hear plenty about it and lots of other things on the new president’s agenda. I have a feeling that the next four years — like his previous 4 years, will be exhausting…..
— 30 —

A couple of hours ago, I finished listening to the 47th President of the United States give his Inaugural Address. There’s a good chance you heard it, too. No matter what you thought of the speech, or of Donald Trump, you have every right to express your opinion. A lot of people don’t realized what a great privilege that is. 

Another President, Theodore Roosevelt, spoke some words that maybe we should all think about….
“The President is merely the most important among a large number of public servants. He should be supported or opposed exactly to the degree which is warranted by his good conduct or bad conduct, his efficiency or inefficiency in rendering loyal, able, and disinterested service to the Nation as a whole.
Therefore it is absolutely necessary that there should be full liberty to tell the truth about his acts, and this means that it is exactly necessary to blame him when he does wrong as to praise him when he does right. Any other attitude in an American citizen is both base and servile.
To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public. Nothing but the truth should be spoken about him or any one else. But it is even more important to tell the truth, pleasant or unpleasant, about him than about any one else.”

Roosevelt also said:
“Here is your country. Cherish these natural wonders, cherish the natural resources, cherish the history and romance as a sacred heritage, for your children and your children’s children. Do not let selfish men or greedy interests skin your country of its beauty, its riches or its romance.”

As a minister on the radio used to say, not a sermon — just thoughts. This just seems like a good day to ponder things…. like what’s the difference between a leader and a boss — the leader leads and the boss drives. 
— 30 —

Today is inauguration day — very soon , we’ll be honored to listen to a very beautiful inauguration speech — most will say it’s the most beautiful they’ve ever heard. It’ll be in a class all by itself — no other inauguration speech, or maybe any speech, will come close to how beautiful it is.

So — we know this will be the best and most beautiful speech in all of history, but I got to wondering what would be the (far distant) second best inauguration speech. Obviously, determining the (second) best inaugural speech by a U.S. president is subjective — it depends on individual perspectives and historical contexts. But my extensive research found that one speech always mentioned in the top two or three bests (before today) is John F. Kennedy’s Inaugural Address in 1961. That speech is renowned for its call to civic duty and unity during the Cold War. His famous quote, “ask not what your country can do for your — ask what you can do for your country,” inspired a generation to a life of public service. The speech emphasized global cooperation and the pursuit of peace. 

Not that I’m inviting comparisons, but I thought while I was it it, I’d see what historians considered the worst inaugural speech. Again, picking one is subjective, but nearly all chose William Henry Harrison’s Inaugural Address in 1841 to be at the bottom.
The speech was over 8,445 words — it’s still the longest inaugural speech in U.S. history. The speech was criticized for being verbose, unfocused, and heavy on classical references. It rambled through historical and philosophical ideas rather than addressing clear policy goals or the pressing issues of the day.

Thankfully, we won’t have anything like that today I’m pretty sure todays wonderful, beautiful speech will be available on parchment paper (ready for framing) and probably be engraved on all sorts of jewelry and items that we can proudly display in our homes. And — available for purchase later today. 
So the excitement grows…. the whole word will be watching — and listening.
— 30 —

We were having lunch the other day and were discussing a good friend of ours. I made the statement, “He’s a trip.” I periodically say that when talking about someone and I always mean it as a compliment. It’s kind of a way of saying that the person is funny, or entertaining, or in some way has a unique personality that leaves an impression. 

“He’s a trip” is an American slang phrase that probably/possibly started back in the 1960s in the “counterculture” movement. Back then the word “trip” became associated with experiences induced by psychedelic drugs. Hippie era people often described their drug-induced experiences as “trips.” And over time, the meaning of the phrase evolved beyond the drug culture to describe people or situations that quirky, unusual, or maybe amusingly unpredictable. Probably today, “trip” is an outdated word in the drug world…. I doubt that many drug users use it anymore.
— 30 —

As long as I can remember, I’ve always gotten vaccines for various diseases when they became available. We also had our kids vaccinated for everything, and almost always because the doctors recommended it. 

Now — if you read the news, we were being misled all these years. Before the Covid pandemic, the U.S. was a world leader in vaccinations, with 95 percent of the population being vaccinated. But — since 2020, the uptake for all of the 15 federally recommended childhood vaccines has dropped by (at least) 2 percentage points. That represents more than 70,000 children. Cases of chicken-pox, whooping cough, and pneumococcal diseases are all up. And measles, which had been entirely eliminated in the U.S. in 2000, is back.

Why the drop in confidence in vaccines? Probably partly because of people’s concerns over Covid shots spreading to other vaccines. But the anti-vac movement actually started a long time ago. As far back as 1998 a study was published that linked the measles, mumps, and rubella (MMR) vaccine with autism. Even though the study was later proven to be false and improperly conducted, the seed was planted.

Over the past 30 years in America, vaccines have saved the lives of more than 1 million children — and — a lot of money. It’s estimated they’ve saved at least $540 billion in health-care costs. They also don’t cause autism. 

It appears that anti-vaccine groups seized upon rare cases and the anger of Covid vaccine mandates, to undermine confidence in all vaccines. The Republican Party embraced vaccine skepticism following the lead of Donald Trump, who repeatedly discredited claims of vaccines and autism during his first presidential campaign — that made it a political issue. Support among Republicans for requiring children to receive the MMR shot to attend public school dropped from 79 percent in 2019 to 57 percent last year.

The president-elect has pledged to “Make America Healthy Again” by putting Robert Kennedy Jr., who claims vaccines have “caused more deaths that they’ve averted,” in charge of Health and Human Services. In that position, he could pressure the CDC to stop recommending certain vaccines, which would eliminate insurance coverage for those shots. And that of course could potentially change the cost of vaccines as well  as access to them.

No one really knows, but maybe we’re not on the path to making America healthy again — maybe we’re headed toward making American sick again….
— 30 —