As you probably know, I be a big fan of holidays. Me usually has a glass of wine, or other special grog on holidays — so me rarely lets any holiday go by unnoticed. But today be my most favorite of all holidays — Talk Like a Pirate Day!!! Make no mistake, me looks forward to this special day all year long — mine have trouble sleeping the nights leading up to the big day — the excitement be just too great me hearties.
First thin’ in t’ morning’, I go down t’ t’ galley where me scurvy bilge rat wench be preparing’ a proper pirate’s feast complete with a big cup o’ grog. Me wench always enjoys it when she sets me feast in front of me and me say, “well, me hearties, let’s see what crawled out of the bung hole.” Even though me refers to her as me wench, me always greets her with, “C’mere, me beauty.”
So what makes this holiday so special and different than all t’ others? Well, it gives Ye conversation a certain swagger and it usually impresses landlocked lubbers. Just sayin aarrr or weigh anchor or blimey conveys an image o’ swaggerin’ pirateness.
When we show up at ye ole’ neighbors’ house for a grog, him always say that me don’t look like a pirate — that me should have a peg leg or a patch so he’ll know what’s going’ on. Even after me explains that today be talk like a pirate day, not dress like a pirate day, t’ scurvy dog still doesn’t get it.
If ye be interested in talking like a pirate — it can be done with just a few words…
Ahoy! — this one’s very important — means hello.
Avast! — ye can use it to express surprise, use it instead of check it out, or no way! or get out of town!
Aarrrr! — the very best one to know — me uses it all the time. It can mean, that was clever, what you just said or I’m happy, enjoying this cup o’ grog, or yes, I agree, or the Redskins are going to win the Super Bowl, or just about anything else ye want it to mean.
Me mentioned bung hole earlier — booze, among other things, was stored in wooden casks on pirate ships. T’ stopper in the barrel is called t’ bung, and t’ hole be called t’ bung hole.
Shiver me timbers is another phrase me likes to use. It be an expression of surprise — and concern. Pirate ships are wooden and when the wind blows, the timbers rattle. Rattling’ ain’t so bad, but it ’tis the full shiverin’ of the masts or other ship parts, by gale winds or cannon fire, that strikes fear in the heart of a pirate….
When it be TLAP Day me take a new name — today me new name be Bubonic Skyler Screed. And just for today, me wench Claire be called Cap’n Lucy Redbeard.
So we’ll be headin’ out for our annual rounds tonight — probably into the wee hours. May even spend a few pieces of eight at our favorite restaurant — Aarrrrby’s.
Til’ next year — Aarrr!!
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