Some friends of ours are currently on a cruise — actually, a couple of cruises, I think. That reminded me of a conversation I had with another friend not too long ago, after he and his wife had returned from their first cruise. We were talking about his experience and he mentioned that there was a “Friends of Bill W.” meeting listed for every day of their cruise. My friend didn’t know who Bill W. was…. he was curious as to who he was (and he probably wondered how he had made so many friends.)
We’ve been on a number of cruises on a number of cruise lines. On every ship, there are always meeting announcements in the ship’s daily schedule for various groups, e.g., the Jones family reunion, bridge clubs, maybe some educational courses, etc. One meeting that was always on the schedule was “Friends of Bill W.”
William “Bill W.” Wilson is the co-founder of of Alcoholics anonymous (AA) — along with Dr. Bob Smith. Apparently when AA members started approaching cruise directors about holding meetings during the sailing and publicizing it in the ship’s announcements, the cruise lines were hesitant. The cruise companies were afraid that blatantly announcing an AA meeting might upset some of the passengers. That’s when the euphemism “Friends of Bill W.” began to be used. We haven’t been on a cruise for a few years, but apparently these “insider announcements” have expanded to include “Friends of Jimmy K.” and “Friends of Dorothy.”
“Jimmy K.” refers to James Kinnon who founded Narcotics Anonymous. NA is patterned after AA, including the same principle of anonymity reflecting that no addict is above any other.
Friends of Dorothy was completely new to me — my extensive research determined that it was originally for gay men, but now encompasses the entire LGBT community. There doesn’t seem to be a clear answer to who “Dorothy” is or why that name was chosen. It seems that the phrase “friends of Dorothy” dates back to at least WWII as a way of discussing sexual orientation without outsiders knowing. It’s interesting that in Britain, the term was “friends of Mr. King” — i.e., a “Queen.”
One theory is that the phrase refers to Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. Dorothy was accepting of others who were “different” such as the Cowardly Lion who was forced to hide his real identity and live a lie. The lion had a line in the movie declaring “We’re friends of Dorothy.”
But for whatever reason, these “friends” meetings are popular on cruise ships. Most cruise lines provide meeting space as a service members.
The use of “friends” by all these support groups is probably no accident — after all, “that’s what friends are for.”
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