I think I’ve mentioned before that a while back Kelly gave me a book full of questions about my life. I was supposed to answer them and give the book back to her. Being a good father, I did just that.
One of the questions was “Dad, who were your best friends growing up and why?” I responded to that question basically by telling her that over the years, I’ve had different friends for the different phases of my life. I had childhood friends, grade-school friends, high school friends, work friends, social friends, parents of my kids friends, friends, retirement friends, etc. I’m not sure that was the answer she expected, but that’s the way I’d have to list my friends.
Well, that got me to thinking about friendship — what makes a good friendship? I’ve heard it said that old friends are the best friends — that might be true, but I think I’ve got a lot of “new” good friends… I’m not sure how you judge how one friendship is better than another.
I have a friend that is big on reunions — he never fails to tell me about a reunion being held by our previous employer. I’m also a member of a couple of social groups made up of retirees from the company I retired from. I’ve been to a number of these “reunions,” and in the rooms full of people, I could reminisce with most all of them, but to be honest I invariably enjoy seeing and talking to maybe only four or five in each group. The ones that I liked talking to the most were the ones that talked the least about “old-times.” We talked about current events and what each of us had been doing lately.
I’m sure Claire would agree with me when I say that I meet at least as many people that I dislike as people that I do like. Maybe dislike isn’t the right word, but they’re people I wouldn’t necessarily like to be friends with. I’m not sure why I make friends with some people and not with others. Sometimes there’s just something hard to define that distances me from people.
There seems to be some sort of connection people have that matches up with some people, but not others. There’s something that goes on between friends that doesn’t happen between “acquaintances.”
A lot of people use the term “good friend” even when they hardly know the person — i know someone that does that, and I’m pretty sure politicians use “good friend” whenever it’s to their advantage even if they’ve never met the person.
I don’t know that it’s necessarily the amount of time you spend with a person that creates or strengthens a friendship. A lot of people that I worked very closely with over the years, I really don’t know at all and some people that I only see or hear from every few years I consider good friends.
I guess to have a good friend, you need to be a good friend — maybe a lot of those people that I’ve met over the years that I don’t consider “friends,” would have been if I’d made more of an effort.
Someone once said that instead of loving our enemies, we should try treating our friends a little better.
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