Compliments

I received a compliment a few days ago — at least I think it was a compliment. Someone said that I was doing pretty good for someone my age. I don’t think this was (at least not intentionally) a backhanded or left handed compliment. A compliment that falls into that category is usually an insult disguised as a compliment. Sometimes people don’t recognize compliments as backhanded but the one offering it is being intentionally slighting and insulting. Anyhow, I’ll take the statement as meaning that I really am doing pretty good, not that the person was surprised that I was still alive. Fairly often, I hear, “you are much older than you look” — again, I don’t know how react to this one. Are they implying that I look young (I guess that’s good,) but do they still think I’m a geezer? I just never know how to react or respond to such a statement.

Compliments are tricky — they have to be given at the right moment and phrased in such a way that they’re not misunderstood. Even when you’re sincere with a compliment, it can often fall into an assumed “backhand” compliment category. For instance, if you tell a girl that she has such a pretty face, most people think you’re calling her fat. Sometimes that might be true, but not always — probably best to just get that one out of your compliments list.

In my working days, I never liked writing performance reports, or as we used to call them, “fitness” reports. Invariably, there were always a few employees that you just wished would quit or leave, but really couldn’t dismiss for any legitimate reason. What was written (and given) to the employee didn’t always totally agree with what was passed up the line to higher management. I always tried to be honest and as diplomatic as possible, but I did use some phrases that weren’t even as nice a backhanded compliments. I remember using, “…. will stick with us until retirement, unless we do something first.” I don’t know for sure if it helped, but the employee was re-assigned shortly after his review.

In case you’re wondering, there is a National Compliment Day (of course.) It’s not one of the many holidays that I celebrate, but if that sort of thing appeals to you, it’s January 24 every year. Both faithful readers know why I don’t celebrate National Compliment Day — unfortunately, it falls on Beer Can Appreciation Day (in case you’ve forgotten, this is that memorable day in 1935 when beer was first sold in cans.)

I read somewhere that the overwhelming number of compliments fall into two major categories — those having to do with appearance and those which comment on ability. I suppose that’s probably true — they’re both pretty broad categories. But the fact is, that it’s nice to give, and receive, compliments. In fact, both of you are even now thinking about complementing me on this blog. Not that you couldn’t come up with some great compliments on your own, but just in case, here’s some possible suggestions….

I always feel more intelligent after reading your thoughts and ideas.
I love this blog.
Your advice is pretty good for a blog.
I don’t care what anyone says, I think your blog is useful!!
You don’t do a bad job for someone your age.
I usually dislike sophomoric writing, but I enjoy reading your blog.
I love to read your blog when I have nothing else to do.

Just don’t wait around for National Compliment Day – compliments are always appropriate….
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