I was reading earlier today and and ran across this quote: “You are not what you think you are, you are not what others think you are but you are what you think others think you are.” I thought it was interesting and later I thought about it again. I guest it’s all a matter of perception — a kind of imbalance of what is and what we think it is. Who I think I am may not agree with what those around me see. There’s a lot of me’s… the me that Claire sees, the me that my kids see, the me that my relatives see, the me that acquaintances see, that strangers see, and so on.
I guess I have too much time on my hands lately, but that got me to thinking about perception…. reading and watching the news, I’ve concluded that people choose what they want to see because it’s easier to see what they want. After a couple of weeks of watching the political conventions, and listening to a lot of different people speak, I’d say that many people (maybe most of us) often think we are better at something than we are.
There is something called the Dunning Kruger effect. It states that the more incompetent people are, the less they are aware of their incompetence. The effect is named after David Dunning of the University of Michigan and Justin Kruger of New York University. During their research, Dunning and Kruger gave their test subjects a series of cognitive tasks and asked them to estimate how well they did. Most of the participants guessed their performance more or less realistically and a few people underestimated themselves. But the quarter of people that scored worst on the tests, wildly exaggerated their cognitive abilities. I’d say that an embellished self-image isn’t a bad thing, it’s probably a good thing. But to carry it to the extreme isn’t just enhancing self-image, it becomes self-deception.
From what I’ve read and remember from a couple of psychology courses in school, the tendency for self -deception stems from a desire to impress others. To appear convincing, we must convince ourselves of our capabilities and truthfulness. Most successful manipulators are usually “quite full of themselves.”
I suppose my mind went down this track recently because the speeches I listened to during the political conventions didn’t contain a lot of substance — most were just perceptions — of the speaker or their party. So it seems like what’s becoming more important is perception. Even if someone takes the initiative to attempt to make people understand an issue, don’t expect them to simply compromise their views or bias. It’s easier to frame the world in a simplified perception — it takes more effort to not only acknowledge complexities, but to accept them.
Back to the quote I started with… there’s the me I think I am, there’s the many versions of me those around me think I am, and there’s the me I think others think I am. I guess that’s true of all of us, but once again I think Dr. Seuss got it right when he said, “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”
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