Well, here it just about my least favorite time of year – my birthday. I’m not sure why, but I’ve always hated for my birthday to roll around. Maybe I subconsciously don’t want to get older – as I said, I don’t know why – it’s just something I never looked forward to and am usually glad it’s over.
I guess some birthdays are considered to be more significant than others – again, I’m not sure why… but I recon by just about any account, at some point in your life any time you have another one, it’s a “major” one. While I don’t consider myself “old,” the fact of the matter is that I am – physically anyhow – mentally, I hope that’s debatable.
While I plan to have many more birthdays, I decided it might be about time to mention to my (our) kids some of the rules I’ve tried to live my life by and things I’ve learned over the years. I don’t expect to change their lives (wouldn’t want to) or change their opinion of me (those opinions have been formed over a lot of years under a lot of circumstances.)
Since, like most parents and children, we don’t spend a lot of time talking, I thought that someday, they might like to check out my thoughts and philosophies about “things.”
One good reason to mess around with this blog is that it’s sort of a “permanent” record – in a way like diaries that people used (maybe still do) keep. I figure that maybe a good many years from now, if the hard disk doesn’t crash or the server go down, my kids will be able to go back and read what I’ve written – and maybe somewhere in these ramblings they’ll be able to find clues to just how important they are to me and their importance to my life.
I thought that on this occasion I’d try to come up with some things that I believe in, don’t believe in, really like, don’t like, things that are important to me, things that aren’t important to me, “rules” that I try to live by, and just maybe give my offspring some insight into who I am, or who I’d like to be – other than their dad. Of course, that’s number one on the list — the thing I’m the most proud of — I’m their dad.
• One thing I’ve always tried to do is to “be where my feet are.” In this age of multitasking, I’ve never believed you can do multiple things at the same time as well as you can do one thing that gets your entire attention.
• I’ve always heard that “the grass is greener on the other side of the fence.” Some people say that the grass is greener because it gets better care. I believe “grass is grass.” It doesn’t matter which side of the fence you’re on – it’s up to you to make the best of the circumstances.
• I never look directly at the sun…
• I really do use WD-40 and duct tape a lot.
• I do my best to be honest – no exceptions – you’ve got to be honest to everyone (including yourself) – always. Being honest isn’t always easy – sometimes you have to be diplomatic or maybe even a little bit evasive, but the old saying “honesty is the best policy,” is absolutely true.
• Even though I have pains, I try not to be one.
• One thing I have a bit of a problem with is jumping to a conclusion – I almost always form an opinion right away, I guess based on some internal intuition or something. I’m trying to work on withholding judgement. You never know the whole story about a person, or situation. No matter what you think, remember, there’s always more that you couldn’t possibly know.
• I’m convinced that life sometimes gives you a second chance.
• I don’t like people that write something borderline mean, and then follow it up with a smiley face 🙂
• Since Emily arrived on the scene, I’ve gained a new perspective on life. Watching her makes me realize how much better this world would be if we could just never, ever lose our sense of wonder and fascination. Looking back, I can see that we lose that so gradually that we don’t even notice it, and then find ourselves middle age (or older) blasé about sunsets, kisses, roller coasters, finding pictures in clouds and things that used to excite us and make our hearts sing. It’s so great to see Emily experience these things for the first time, and by watching her, I am beginning to do so myself again.
• I try to tell the people that I love that I love them and how much they mean to me.
• I’ve decided that I really don’t like AAA batteries. Things that use them usually require an odd number, like 3 or 5 and that means there is usually enough room for 1 or 2 normal AA batteries, which we always have plenty of….
• I’ve always tried to be myself and stand up for my convictions. I’m beginning to think it’s when people start to agree with you that you should be the most worried.
• I’ve come to realize that at some point you should just “let it go.” When there is very little left in any situation – just let it go, so something new can begin to surface. Acceptance is part of life…
• I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn.
So that’s it – some things I like, some I don’t and some principles I’ve tried to live by. Over the years when I’ve screwed up (and that’s happened more often than I’d like) I ask myself if I had violated one of my “principles” – almost always, the answer is yes.
Although it’s great to be popular and have lots of friends – and don’t think for one minute that I’m belittling the importance of that – I’m not sure that should be the primary goal. I’ve always tried not to live to be liked so much as live to be respected.
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