What Would Jimmy Do?

I heard a phrase the other day that I hadn’t heard in years. Someone said, “she’s got more shoes that Carter’s got liver pills.” When I was a kid, one of the items advertised on the radio was Carter’s Little Liver Pills. If I remember correctly, they were called Carter’s Little Liver Pills, and were really mostly for back pain, but were considered a treatment for just about anything. As truth in advertising came along, they weren’t allowed to call them Liver Pills because they did nothing for the liver so the name was changed to Carter’s Little Pills. I don’t ever remember them being so popular after the name change. I think using Liver in the name helped keep them in people’s mind — it just had a nice ring to it. Plus, because lots of people believed if there was anything wrong with you, Carter’s Little Liver Pills would fix it, it became a kind of joke — if you bumped your head or broke your arm, someone was sure to suggest you “take a Carter’s Little Liver Pill.”

I don’t remember much about “medicine shows” that traveled around the country putting on a “show” and peddling some sort of medicine during intermission — they had mostly disappeared by the time I was old enough to remember them. But I do remember all sorts of medicines being hawked on the radio. They all fell into the “Toddies for the body” category and cured whatever ailment you were suffering from or thought you were suffering from. And even if you thought nothing was wrong with you, the man on the radio could convince you otherwise. If you listened close, the man “on the radio” would eventually describe your ailment — even though you didn’t know you had it when you started listening. Turns out that a cure was always available for your ailment and would be sent to you for a dollar or two (plus 25 cents for shipping and handling.)

I don’t remember the names of most of the “medicine” we had in our house when I was growing up — I know one was Campho-Phenique — I’m not sure what it was supposed to do, but I think my mother used it for everything from a sore throat to a cut finger. The one “medicine” I remember the most was Hadacol. Most people my age remember Hadacol because at one time it was the second largest advertiser in the US — right after Coca-Cola. I even had a dog named Hadacol — because I “hadda call” him something. The name was a big joke and I’m sure at least partially the reason for its success.

Hadacol was “invented” by Dudley LeBlanc. Dudley was a born entrepreneur that ventured into all kinds of schemes — he sold shoes, tobacco, patent medicine and funeral insurance. He also ran (unsuccessfully) for governor of Louisiana.

Anyhow, in 1941 LeBlanc ran into trouble with the FDA over the patent medicines he was selling. He stopped selling Dixie Dew Cough Syrup and Happy Day Headache Powders rather that fight with the FDA and came up with something much better — Hadacol. According to LeBlanc, he was suffering from pain in his big toe, and the only doctor who could help him wouldn’t share the recipe for the medicine he used. So LeBlanc stole some from the Doctor’s inattentive nurse and researched the ingredients on the label. From that information, he developed Hadacol.

Hadacol was a mixture of vitamins B1 and B2, iron, niacin, calcium, phosphorous, honey, and diluted hydrochloric acid in 12% alcohol. Even though the alcohol content wasn’t all that high, the hydrochloric acid speeded up the delivery through the body. So the mixture probably did really make people feel better, even though it wasn’t a cure for any disease. It was advertised to cure high blood pressure, ulcers, strokes, asthma, arthritis, diabetes, pneumonia, anemia, cancer, epilepsy, gall stones, heart trouble and hay fever.

The thing that made Hadacol a success was LeBlanc’s advertising genius. He kept supplies low in some pharmacies to create demand and he paid people for their testimonies — sometimes being ridiculous, but people liked them — for instance, “Two months ago I couldn’t read nor write. I took four bottles of Hadacol, and now I’m teaching school.”

The Food and Drug Administration objected to claims that Hadacol could cure diseases, and wanting to avoid trouble, those claims were pulled. So Hadacol became a cure-all for whatever people hoped it wold cure. No matter what was wrong, the medicine made people feel better — and that was all that mattered.

Back to the name — the name was short for Happy Day Company, with an L for LeBlanc. However, when someone asked how he named the drug, LeBland said, “Well, I hadda call it something.” At least the older medicine advertisements were entertaining — the new ones are just scary.
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If you haven’t been under a rock someplace, you’ve probably heard a lot about the bombing in Boston. I was just thinking that when I was growing up, not only did you not hear about these things (because they rarely, if ever, happened) but if you heard the word “bomb” you pretty much thought it was an explosive device dropped out of an airplane.

I remember knowing the words bomb, bombed, bomber, bombproof, bombshell, bombsight, and maybe divebomb — but they all pretty much referred to something blowing up…. Today, when you hear the word bomb, it may or may not relate to explosives. If you’re into drugs, bomb may refer to crack or heroin; bomber means a marijuana cigarette; bomb squad is a name given to a crack-selling crew. And the use of the term keeps expanding, making it even more confusing — as I understand it, “bomb” can mean something really bad or something really good??? I think the term bombshell can still refer to a very attractive woman and I was just catching on that “the bomb” meant really cool.

So even though our language and newspapers now include mail bombs, super bombs, letter bombs, firebombs and the like, it’s good to know that the majority of people only use the word in a positive sense — as we say, they’re Da Bomb!!
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Earth Day is the day designated for fostering appreciation of the Earth’s environment and awareness of the issues that threaten it. Some people celebrate Earth Day on the first day of Spring, around the 21st of March. Since about 1970, the “official” recognition of Earth Day has been on April 22nd.

Earth Day is observed by lots of people in lots of different ways. I always choose to observe the day by using as little energy as possible — I didn’t do a lot of things today, not because I didn’t want to, but to conserve energy for Earth Day. Some people choose to eat only non-endangered species, or vacuum all the dirt out of their cars and put it back on the ground…or hug a tree.

However you do it, Happy Earth Day 2013.
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Went to Walmart today and while waiting at the checkout stand, I noticed the carousel filled with plastic gags – tons of them. Seems like every few weeks I hear about how bad plastic bags are for the environment. I’ve heard that the sheer volume of plastic bags will soon completely fill all the landfills and the resources needed to produce and transport them produce emissions that may wipe out humanity. I’ve also heard that practically none of the zillions of plastic bags are ever recycled.

I looked up plastic bag facts on the Internet — according to one site, about 380 billion plastic bags are used in the US every year and approximately 12 million barrels of oil is required to make that many plastic bags. Only 1 to 2 percent of plastic bags in the US end up getting recycled.

Well, these are pretty scary numbers so I thought I’d do a little extensive research. What I found out was there is a group of people that believe plastic bags are the root of all evil and another group that believes the first group are fatalists and making them a much bigger issue than necessary.

I couldn’t find any proof one way or the other that 380 billion bags are used annually in the US, but it appears that most of the raw material used to make plastic bags in the US is produced from natural gas, not oil. I couldn’t find exact numbers, but I did find some statistics that indicated that plastic bag recycling has more than doubled in the past nine years. Additionally, I found that there are growing industries that use recycled plastic bags to make building products like decks, playground equipment and fences.

And I discovered some interesting facts about landfills — according to a study sponsored by the University of Arizona, almost all the organic material from the 1950s in a Phoenix landfill remained readily identifiable. The study concluded that the tightly compacted contents of landfills create low-oxygen environments that inhibit decomposition.

I’m not taking sides — this just seems like yet another subject, similar to gun control, that people become passionately for or against. The real magnitude of the problem probably lies somewhere in the middle — they may not be as harmful as some think, but then again, you probably shouldn’t go stick your head in a plastic bag.
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As both faithful readers know, I was born in Oklahoma and have Native American or American Indian blood. I’ve never made too much of it, but over the years I’ve collected, and been given pictures, proverbs and stories handed down through the various Indian tribes, especially Cherokee. Sometimes some of them just pop into my head for no apparent reason — I’m sure it has something to do with the current situation or something that someone says that sparks that memory.

Yesterday, two popped into my head — “You should never criticize someone until you’ve walked two miles in his moccasins. By then you’re two miles away — and — you’ve got his moccasins.”

The other was a story of good and evil….
An old Cherokee told his grandson, “My son, there is a battle between two wolves inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, jealously, greed, resentment, inferiority, lies and ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy, and truth.”
The boy thought about it, and asked, “Grandfather, which wolf wins?”
The old Cherokee quietly replied, “The one you feed.”
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I read an interesting article in this morning’s Washington Post. It was titled, “The end of everything,” and discussed the fact that there is a trend in the publishing world to title books that proclaim “the end…” such as The End of History, The End of Nature, The End of Education, The End of the Free Market, The End of Courtship, The End of Power, The End of Money… anyhow you get the idea.

Well, that got me to thinking — I have nothing against education, the free market, courtship, money or any of the other book titles listed in the article, but there are a few thing I wouldn’t mind seeing the “end of.”

So, in no particular order, here’s my list: How about the End of Salesmen, The End of North Korea, The End of Divas, The End of On Location Storm Reporters, The End of Texting While Driving, The End of Trash on the Highways, The End of Baseball Caps Worn Backwards, The End of Red Mulch, The End of Mosquitos, The End of “irregardless,” The End of Stupid People, The End of Hangovers…

The list could go on and on, but I have other things to do today. I thought the newspaper article was interesting because i hadn’t noticed so many “end of” books being available but also the fact that so many authors chose to include “end of” in the title. The fact is, most of these books acknowledge right away that the “end of” doesn’t really mean the end of… the End of Education discusses bad education, good education, changes in education, some history of education, views on eduction, questions about education, levels of education, continuing education — but never gets around to saying that there is an end to education or even suggesting why such a title was chosen.

Now if I sat down to write an “end of” book, I’d be sure that the reader had no doubt that it was the end, or at least something that I wanted to end. For instance, if I wrote a book titled The End of Free Ads, I’d at least make a case for ending the promotion of “Free!” Pretty much free anything is never really free — it’s always only free if you buy something else. I’ve never heard anyone advertise free air to breath or free sunsets to watch. Even things that contain the word ‘free’ — for instance, the ‘free market’ are not free… but I digress. The subject of this blog was things that are ending — so guess what we’ve come to?
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Well, I said it would never happen — no more moving. But the weather finally go to me. This cold weather is ridiculous. We’re moving to Hawaii!!

Got real lucky and just the right person(s) came along and we got a great contract on our house. Unfortunately because of the short timeline we weren’t able to go house-shopping in the islands. So we rolled the dice and put our trust in the realtor and bought from just a picture. It’s small but is right on the beach. The only downside is that Claire will have to get rid of lots of stuff — but no more cold weather!!! And — I’ve signed up for surfing lessons — the surfboard comes with the house. Can you believe it?

You’re all welcome to visit, but don’t expect to spend weeks and weeks —everyone’s welcome, but just make your visits short.

Oh, by the way, happy April Fool’s Day!
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We had lunch with Kelly, Chris and Emily today and I asked Emily about the Easter Bunny. She doesn’t really grasp the concept yet and I guess I can see why. The idea of an egg-laying rabbit isn’t intuitively obvious — especially when you’re two and a half and have been told all your life that eggs come from chickens, or ducks, or birds or maybe even an alligator — but never a rabbit.

Among other things, we can thank the Germans (or blame them) for the Easter Bunny. Rabbits have been associated with springtime since ancient times. The Hare and the Rabbit were the most fertile animals known and they served as symbols of the new life during the Spring season.

According to our friends Anne and Winfried, the first edible Easter bunnies were made in Germany and were made of pastry and sugar. The Easter Bunny was introduced to American folklore by German settlers in the Pennsylvania Dutch country in the 1700s.

German children looked forward to the arrival of the “Oschter Haws” almost as much as they looked forward to the the coming of Christ-Kindel on Christmas. The children believed that if they were good, the Oschter Haws wold lay a nest of colored eggs. The children would build their nest in a secluded place in their house or barn — boys used their caps and girls used their bonnets to make the nests. I would guess that today’s fancy Easter baskets evolved from those early “nests.”

Happy Easter! Don’t forget the day isn’t just about chocolate bunnies….
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Well, here it is the 24th of March and the weather prediction is for 2 to 4 inches of snow tonight. Since I have no earth shattering topics on my mind at the moment, I guess I can fall back on the reliable topic of conversation — the weather.

People often start a conversation with strangers by talking about the weather — it’s sort of a “neutral” topic of conversation and its usually safe to use it to strike up a conversation, most anywhere and with most anyone. It’s maybe not wise to bring up politics or sports with some random guy standing in line at the Food Lion — you risk getting into some sort of petty squabble, but talking about the weather is almost always “safe.”

Talking about the weather is easy — true that it doesn’t offer any new insight into anything or in any way advance the cause of humanity, but I’m not sure it’s just so much hot air…

Talking about the weather is in all likelihood, boring — and some weather conversations are particularly annoying to me. I hate to get an e-mail, or phone call, in the middle of winter from someone living in a warmer climate saying, “It’s 90 degrees and sunny and I just went to the beach.” Everyone gets good weather and they get bad weather — just accept that and don’t try to make yours look better or rub it in…. I hate the question, “Is it cold enough for you?” I guess I’m supposed to think that is clever, but it’s annoying. Same thing if you change “cold” to “hot,” “wet,” “windy” or any other “weathery” term — annoying! Some people complain about the cold and then they complain about the heat — you can hate the heat or you can hate the cold, but come on, you can’t hate them both.

Then there are those people that always remember when it was worse, they usually say something like, “It’s not so bad, remember how much snow we had in 2011?” Somehow, I don’t mind that so much, it comes across as being positive.

Oscar Wilde said, “Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative.” Maybe so, maybe not, weather is a common ground, it affects everyone and starting a conversation with it often leads to more interesting topics. Of course around here, we often substitute the Redskins for the weather — “How ’bout them “Skins?” is a conversation starter.”
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If you’ve ever called our house, there’s about a 99.999% chance that Claire — or no one — has answered the phone. I rarely answer our home phone — I say it’s because it’s never for me anyhow, if people want to talk to me, the call my cell phone. That really is true, but the fact is that I just don’t particularly like to talk on the phone.

I got to wondering why that is and here’s some of the reasons I came up with…..
First off, I have a hearing problem and if the connection isn’t all that good (very common around here with cell phones) then I don’t hear all that well — if I have to “work” at the conversation I certainly don’t want any part of it.
Usually the phone is for Claire and if I answer it I get way too much information. As I discussed in a previous blog, women like to talk — about everything. Men usually only talk about what is relevant… If I answer the phone and it’s one of Claire’s friends, the conversation doesn’t consist of “have Claire give me a call” —  I usually have to listen to why the caller called in the first place. Not to be rude, but it really doesn’t matter to me if someone’s great aunt’s granddaughter ran off with the postman or that they’re taking a cruise to the Panama Canal….
Another reason I don’t care for phone calls is that they aren’t scheduled — no matter what you’re doing, when the phone rings, you’re expected to drop everything and talk about whatever the caller has decided you must have time to talk about. I don’t just sit around waiting for phone calls — and whoever is calling is expecting your undivided attention. Another problem is that whoever called is expecting an immediate response — I’m not good at that — I prefer to think about my response a bit, but on the phone, you’re expected to provide an immediate response.
I’ve noticed that when I’m talking on the phone neither the person on the other end or myself time our responses properly, so we’re constantly interrupting one another….
Some people that call just want to talk — they don’t want a conversation, they just want to talk….
It seems like it’s hard to get off the phone — the conversation just seem to keep going forever even after both parties have said goodbye — maybe multiple goodbyes….
Most phone calls take forever to get to the point — people seem to think they must ask how you’ve been, what you’ve been up to, etc. before they can get to the reason for the call…..

I mentioned previously that I do answer my cell phone — but cell phones in general annoy me as much as any phone — sometimes more. Some people appear to have the phone to their ear all day long, no matter where they are or what they’re doing. Sometimes I have feeling that some people I know don’t have any idea what I look like because they’re always looking at their cell phones when we’re together.

But I guess the real reason I don’t answer the phone is that whenever I do, there’s usually someone on the other end.
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