A few days ago I wrote about curmudgeons and pretty much admitted that I might actually be one (not that that’s a bad thing.) One characteristic or trait that possible curmudgeons have is that they want things like they used to be.
One thing I’d like to be like it used to be is knobs. Yea, knobs — have you noticed they’re disappearing? I’ve been aware of the trend for quite some time, but it’s getting worse. I first noticed it becoming a problem shortly after we moved to West Virginia. During the move, a cheap plastic knob on our washing machine broke. No big deal — knobs are cheap and easy to replace…. Well, I couldn’t get a knob in West Virginia; I was able to find a replacement in Fairfax, Virginia, but it had to be special ordered and I had to drive 50 miles to pick it up. Because it was a special order, I had to pay shipping, stocking fees, and who knows what else — the 99 cent knob cost almost $10, not counting gas. Now remember, I wasn’t being picky about the knob — just about any old knob would do — didn’t have to be a Maytag or even a washing machine knob. I went to Radio Shack. They used to have a whole wall of knobs — all colors, big ones, small ones, round ones, pointed ones, plastic, metal, you name it — you could always find a knob at Radio Shack. Do you know how many knobs Radio Shack had? None!! Not one knob. How could that be? Little did I know it was about to get worse.
When I was growing up, everything had knobs. As you entered the house, the front door had a knob (our front door doesn’t have a knob — in fact, none of our doors have knobs.) Radios had knobs — one to change the station, one to adjust the volume, some even had knobs to change bands to short wave or FM and to adjust the bass and treble. Television sets used to have knobs. If you wanted to adjust the volume or change the channel, you got up out of your chair, went to the TV and turned a knob. Kelly and Chris’ kitchen cabinets don’t even have knobs — I never know which side of the door to try to open… and then — there’s cars. My car is 12 years old and it has maybe three knobs. It’s got a lot of buttons, switches and levers and levers that contain buttons that you flick, push, pull, twist and apply every other movement known to man (some having to be accomplished simultaneously) to get the desired results. And it’s got a touch screen. Claire’s car is a couple of years newer than mine and it only has one knob – maybe two. I have no idea how the windshield wiper lever/push/turn/button control works — I’ve finally just set it on automatic and take my chances. Claire’s car has also upped the number of functions controlled by a touch screen.
Go look at a new car and you can bet that almost everything is controlled by a “touch screen.” Now I’ll be the first to agree that all this touch screen technology looks way cool, but the curmudgeon in me says it’s not a good thing. Here’s why — if you’re using the touch screen on your iPad or iPhone, you’re looking at the screen and interacting with it — directly. When you’re driving, ideally you’re looking out that big window in front of you (I know, most people you meet are eating, texting, fixing their hair, or something else, but that’s another issue) and you operate most controls by “feel.” At most, they only take a quick glance. The problem is touch screens have little buttons on a glass screen — there is no “feel” and you have to take your eyes away from the big window to find the right “button.” If you’ve ever looked in the cockpit of an airliner, you’ve probably noticed a lot of levers between the pilot and co-pilot seats — those levers all have different shaped knobs. Pilots manipulate those levers by touch, they don’t have to look to see which control they’re moving.
Most of the cars I’ve owned (until the last few) had a knob on the dash that had the word “LIGHTS” printed on it. You pulled it out and the lights went on. You pushed it in and the lights went off. Our current cars have the light control on a lever on the steering column and they all work differently and you have to work to get the lights off or on when you want them on or off — apparently the car now knows better than you to not turn the lights on if the ignition isn’t on or the car isn’t running and that they shouldn’t turn off for 40 seconds or some amount of time the car thinks you need the lights for…. I’m still not sure what was wrong with the knob — pull, they’re on; push, they’re off.
A number of years ago, you’d sometimes hear people say, “Don’t you wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence?” Well, guess what? There is no knob!
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