For the past few years, we have participated at our church on occasion by helping the priest distribute Communion. Now that you’ve gasped, and re-read the sentence, we can get on with the subject of this blog. No, it really has nothing to do with the fact that we distribute communion. But what I’ve noticed is that when people approach to receive communion, a very high percentage don’t make eye contact — any eye contact.
Of course this got me to thinking about eye contact and a bit about just eyes. After my usual extensive research on the subject kicked in, I discovered some interesting “facts” about eye contact…
Females look more at people they are talking to than do males.
We increase eye contact when dealing with people we like, admire, or who have power over us.
We judge relationships by the amount of eye contact exchanged — the greater the eye contact, the closer the relationship.
Eye contact produces a powerful, subconscious sense of connection that extends even to drawn or photographed eyes.
We reduce eye contact when we are talking about something shameful or embarrassing, when we are sad or depressed, and when we are accessing internal thoughts or emotions.
We avoid eye contact in elevators, subways, crowded buses or trains (we face the door of the elevator or stare at our phones, because it helps us manage the insecurity of having our personal space invaded)
I read that the biggest body language myth concerning liars is that they avoid eye contact. It’s true that some liars (generally, children) find it difficult to lie while looking directly at you, but many accomplished liars actually overcompensate to “prove” that they are not lying by making too much eye contact and holding it too long.
I’ve mentioned it before, but I think that today a lot (most?) people spend most of their time looking into electronic gadgets and eye to eye contact just makes them uncomfortable.
Anyhow, eyes are a means of communication and they communicate more than you think — a lot of what they communicate you can’t control. You can control you facial expressions, but not your eyes.
While doing my extensive research, I ran across an interesting article that indicated that the color of ones eyes is an important metric in determining character. A deep blue color means that the individual is a highly sexed yet gentle and sensitive being. Light blue eyes indicates a person is likely to enjoy flirting with the opposite sex. Dark green eyes are highly energized and also very inventive – both in practical and personal affairs. Chocolate brown eyes indicate some of the genetic traits of the Mediterranean and Middle Eastern races and indicate an extremely passionate character who loves social life and meeting many different people. Grey eyes reveal a high degree of intelligence and imagination but passion may be less pronounced. Black eyes are very rare — they reveal a somewhat strong natured individual that doesn’t always present their case with what you’d call finesse. I guess if people are wearing colored contact lenses, all bets are off.
It’s a shame we don’t make eye contact so much anymore, because eyes are so much a part of our life, and our vocabulary… we hear about the eye of the storm and a bird’s eye view or a gleam in the eye. I used to catch a late flight from California called the red eye to get home, often with bloodshot eyes, to the apple of my eye, Claire. There’s a song called can’t take my eyes off you that probably refers to someone that’s easy on the eye. A roving eye will get you in trouble, especially if you’re in the public eye. I used to think that my parents had eyes in the back of their heads and when I went to school, kids that wore glasses were referred to as four eyes and good looking girls were eye candy.
Buddha has a lot of quotes, but one that seems to fit here is, “He who experiences the unity of life sees his own Self in all beings, and all beings in his own Self, and looks on everything with an impartial eye.”
I don’t know about you, but this discussion has been a real eye-opener for me…
— 30 —