Oh Yea?

Argumentative, contrary, combative, confrontational, quarrelsome, cantankerous, scrappy — these words all describe people that are quick to argue. We all know people that one or more of these words would describe. Some people just like to argue and trying to have a conversation with a person that just enjoys arguing or who believes they are always right can be, at the very least, frustrating. I know several people that just seem to enjoy an argument and a couple that must always be right. After a rather frustrating “discussion” recently, I started to think about why some people are that way and how I usually handle my interaction with them. And then I got to thinking — how should I handle the situation(s) — what’s the best way?

There’s an old saying — never discuss politics or religion at dinner. Well, those subjects certainly are hot buttons for disagreement, but my philosophy is it’s usually not good to discuss any controversial subject during meals. But when you’re around certain people, just about any subject can become controversial. There are some obvious actions (and non-actions) that you can use to help control the situation. Keep calm — getting angry is of no benefit. Consider why you’re arguing — is it even worth arguing about? Consider your relationship with the person — is it worth losing a friend over? Events change every day, but good friendships should be lifelong. Listen well — really listen to the other person, maybe they do have a valid argument.

One of the things that I haven’t mastered, but I’ve gotten better at is my willingness to walk away from arguments. It can be difficult to walk away from things when someone you care about disagrees with you on an important issue. I read somewhere that a peaceful silence is always preferable to a contentious victory. As I’ve aged, I’ve come to realize that friendship is more important than agreement.

I’ve learned to take people in pieces — I enjoy being with some people some of the time and I accept that some subjects will do nothing but set them off on an emotional argument. So I’ve become very careful who I argue with. Someone said it best — discussion is an exchange of knowledge; an argument an exchange of ignorance.
— 30 —