One thing I always told my kinds when they were growing up was, “Choose your battles wisely.” It’s so easy to get into a “battle” over some little insignificant thing, that later seems stupid that any time at all was wasted on the subject.
I’m sure I wasn’t the first to come up with that advice, it’s probably still a popular phrase in parenting today. But I was thinking about it and it really is kind of important in living a contented life. Life is full of opportunities to choose between making a big deal out of something or simply letting it go, realizing that it doesn’t really matter. If all your battles are like going to war, you’ll probably have much less chance of winning those that are truly important.
Naturally there will be times when you want, or need, to argue, confront, or even fight for something you believe in. The problem is that many of us argue, confront, and fight over almost anything. If you do that — turn your life into a series of battles over “nothing,” there’s almost sure to be so much frustration that you lose track of what is truly relevant.
If your goal is to have everything work out in your favor, even the tiniest disagreement or glitch in your plans can be made into a big deal. That’s probably a sure-fire prescription for frustration.
If you think about it, life is rarely exactly the way we would like it to be — and, other people very often don’t act the way we’d like them to. Every day there are aspects of life that we like and maybe an equal number that we don’t like. There is always going to be people that don’t agree with you. People that do things differently. And things that just don’t work out. These are facts of life. If you fight these facts of life, you’ll spend a good part of your life fighting battles.
I can see my kids rolling their eyes right now, but a better way to live is to decide which battles are worth fighting and which are better left alone.
If your primary goal is to have everything work out perfectly, you’ve probably already given up on this blog and already commented how stupid it is. But if your goal is more along the lines of living a less stressful life, you’ll realize most battles aren’t worth fighting. Does which restaurant you go to really matter enough to argue over it? Does the fact that your neighbor parks his car on the grass warrant a letter to the HOA? Things like these are what many people spend their lives fighting about.
Speaking for myself, I think I’ve always chosen my battles wisely, but today I find I rarely need to do battle at all.
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