All our lives, we are subjected to “rude awakenings” — Santa, the Easter Bunny, professional wrestling, etc. Seems like there is more “fake” stuff than real stuff anymore. I figured, at my age, I was beyond being shocked — but I was wrong.
This time of year, around Christmastime, it’s a shame to be disappointed in something you thought you could rely on. But even Christmas isn’t immune to legalized fakery.
We have fake Christmas trees, garland, and even fake mistletoe…. but I figured that the one thing absolutely immune to fakery was the annual holiday fruitcake.
Well, unfortunately, my extensive research has discovered that even that sacred holiday tradition has been compromised.
Let me explain….
If you take a poll, you’ll find that almost no one likes fruitcake. But a few years ago a friend started giving everyone a fruitcake that he made and people raved about it — everybody said they don’t like fruitcakes, but his were really good. I suppose it’s his secret recipe, but he revealed that it contains a good amount of bourbon. I just assumed it was probably the bourbon that made it so good.
Well, this year he slipped up — every year he’s given everyone the cakes just wrapped in aluminum foil, but this year he added a label, and as they say…. the secret’s out!
I’ve attached a picture of the label as proof — you’ll notice that he hasn’t been giving fruitcakes, he’s been giving fruitfakes!!
So even the sacred fruitcake is prone to being knocked-off.
Maybe he’ll claim that it’s a typo or a computer “auto-correct” but maybe there’s something more sinister going on here???
I’m just saying…..
— 30 —