We went to church this weekend and like always, during the service, there’s a time when we offer each other a “sign of peace.” That involves shaking hands. We usually sit in the same place in church and usually shake hands with those around us, who also usually sit in the same place. But when we have visitors, I end up shaking the hand of someone new. Whenever I do that I always think about that handshake. I’ve heard that a handshake is much like a person’s handwriting — it supposedly gives a clue into their inner nature. I don’t know if that’s true, but I got to thinking about handshakes. Quite some time ago, I discussed hugs and how there seemed to be lots of different kinds of hugs. I think the same goes for handshakes.
I didn’t do my usual extensive research on the subject, but I suspect that some form of handshaking has been around from the time of the very first humans. I’ve been fortunate enough to travel quite a bit over the years and most places I’ve been, handshaking is a custom, but some places, like parts of Asia, a short bow is a more polite greeting than a handshake. In the Mediterranean, hugs seem to be a favorite style of greeting. But, still, handshaking is almost universal.
During the 60s, I spent some time in Monrovia, Liberia — on the west coast of Africa. Years ago, Liberia was settled by freed, or escaped, slaves from (primarily) the United States. When I first shook hands with a “Liberian” it started out an an ordinary handshake, but ended with the hand being dragged straight back — and while I didn’t notice it at first, there was ‘snap’ sound created. I learned that all Liberians shook hands in that manner and the pressing of their fingers together to create the snapping sound was very significant. It seems that prior to being freed, slaves were not allowed to snap their fingers, because that’s how the slave owner, or master, called them. The snapping sound became a symbol of their freedom.
Handshaking can be a pleasant experience or, sometimes, an unpleasant or even weird experience. Handshakes have been in the news lately, due to the long, “who can squeeze the hardest,” handshake between the U.S. and French Presidents not too long ago.
The one type of handshake I hate more than others is the “dead fish” handshake. People just sort of stick their hand out in your direction — there’s no grip, no squeeze, no nothing. It’s like gripping a dead fish. I’ve heard that people that shake hands like that have low self-esteem. That could be, but I won’t attempt to analyze what handshakes mean…. some others that I’ve noticed are:
The two-handed handshake — someone just grabs your hand and starts to shake it and then puts his/her left hand on top and just keeps pumping. This one seems to be used by politicians a lot for some reason.
Some people extend their hand, not in a vertical position but horizontally, so their hand is on top our yours. Again, there’s probably some hidden psychological meaning here, but I don’t know what.
The bone crusher — some people squeeze your hand until you cringe. I think a nice, firm handshake is nice, but these guys are too much for me.
I probably shouldn’t even mention this one, but it creeps me out sometimes to get the sweaty hand handshake. I’m sure it’s usually not their fault, it could be some sort of a medical condition, or they’re just nervous — but — still creeps me out a bit.
Some people just sort of stick their hand out like a robot… when you grab it, there’s no response on their part —it’s kind of like shaking a stick.
Some (quite a few) people do a no-eye-contact handshake. They just stick their hand out and never look you in the eye. For some reason, that just particularly annoys me. In my mind it’s rude.
I’m not sure what to call the kind of handshake when someone grabs your hand , shakes it, and sometimes touches your shoulder or rubs your forearm with their other hand — I never know how to react to this one.
There’s another handshake a lot like the two-handed handshake — they just grab your hand with both their hands, sort of cupped around yours and they shake up and down, and up and down and up and down…. its hard to know when to try pull away.
Another particularly non-favorite of mine is when someone grabs your hand and pulls you closer to them — they usually have something to say, like, “nice to meet you.” These people usually pull you so close it’s uncomfortable.
And of course there’s the royalty handshake. These handshakers don’t shake your hand, they just extend their hand, usually with their palm facing down and it just kind of waves around a little so you have to time it just right to grab and shake it.
And then there are handshakes that aren’t really handshakes, they’re fist bumps, or high-fives, or maybe even elbow bumps. Sometimes people that know each other well do all of them sequentially and it looks as if it’s choreographed like some sort of a ceremonial handshake.
When I meet one of these “bumpers” or high-fivers, our handshake usually becomes the confused handshake. Usually, we’re both confused as to whether to fist-bump, shake, high-fiver, or whatever… first.
Anyhow, handshakes are apparently here to stay — at least for the foreseeable future. But unfortunately, handshakes don’t mean the same, or as much, as they once did. My dad and granddad were in business for many, many years and I would bet that they rarely, if ever, signed a contract. They made their agreements (and stuck to them) with a handshake. My dad once told me, “If a man’s handshake is no good, all the legal paperwork in the world won’t make it good.”
— 30 —