Absurd Laws

I had a conversation with my son a few days ago and one of the topics was setting boundaries for kids. It’s natural for kids to not like rules, but they’re necessary to live in an organized society. Even I agree that today we seem to live in a society where rules and regulations sometimes just seem too much. But that’s the way our society operates, and as a society grows, so do the number of rules and regulations. 

Well, anyhow, I was thinking about some of the kind of strange laws that are still “laws.” I imagine that a lot, or probably most, still exist because no one has gotten around to changing them. I did a search on “strange or stupid laws” and here’s some that I came up with. Some are pretty funny and a lot of them make you wonder where the heck they came from — what was going on to prompt such a law. And some of them makes you wonder if when they were written, the legal power had landed in the wrong hands…..

Impotence is grounds for divorce in twenty-four states.
In Illinois, it is illegal to speak English. The officially recognized language is “American.”
In Oxford, Ohio, it is still illegal for a woman to undress in front of a picture of a man.
In Indiana, during the 1950s, anything to do with Robin Hood was prohibited. Robbing from the rich to give to the poor was considered communist ideology.
In Finland, Donald Duck was once banned because he doesn’t wear any pants.
In Thailand if you drop gum on the pavement, you can be fined up to $600. You are not permitted to leave your house without wearing underwear — and — all those who attend a cinema show must stand up during the national anthem before a film begins.

The United Kingdom has some strange laws on the books…
It is illegal to die in the House of Parliament. The reasoning behind that is that technically anyone who dies within the walls of Parliament is automatically granted a Royal state funeral.
The head of any dead whale found on the British coast is legally the property of the King. The tail is the property of the Queen so that she can use the bones for her corset.

In the city of York, it is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow. 

And if you’re planning to travel to Australia, be aware that…
Although it is against the law for children to buy cigarettes, condoms, or alcohol, they can legally use all of them.
It is illegal to wear black clothing, felt shoes, and black shoe polish on your face while roaming the streets. These items are the tools of a cat burglar.
And if you’re down-under, it is illegal to dress up as Batman. 

Singapore is one of the cleanest cities I’ve ever visited…. the reason is probably because littering is a serious offense. If caught littering, your punishment includes a fine of several thousand dollars, hours of litter collection, state-sponsored counseling, and your picture in the local news. 
It’s also illegal to carry a Bible or talk to someone about Jesus.

And then there’s them French….
In France, it’s illegal to call or address a pig as Napoleon.
Between the hours of 8 a.m. and 8 p.m., 70 percent of the music on the radio must be by French composers.
It is against the law to sell a doll with a face that’s not human.

Maybe you should save this list and pull it out and re-read it before you go to vote in the next election…..
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Being All Talk Was Good

This subject is something that’s always been of interest to me and I’ve intended to write about it for a long time. The subject is American Indian Code Talkers. How important were they to all of us? They were extremely instrumental in helping the U.S. win World War II. 

I grew up in Oklahoma and Native Americans from Oklahoma played a major role in the code talker initiative and later in life I became involved with the encryption of communications — so the subject of “codes” seems to have always been of interest to me. Anyhow, you get the point… this is a subject that I find fascinating, so here we go.

What is a code talker? That’s the name given to American Indians who used their tribal language to send secret communications on the battlefield. 

The idea of using American Indians who were fluent in both their traditional tribal language and in English to send secret messages in battle was first put to the test in World War I. There were a number of Native communication experts and messengers used in that war — probably the most famous was the Choctaw Telephone Squad. But it wasn’t until World War II that the US military developed a policy to specifically recruit and train American Indians to become code talkers. 

When the term “code talker” is used, most people think of the Navajo code talkers who used their traditional language to transmit secret messages in the Pacific theater during World War II. Many/most know about code talkers because of the movie, “Wind Talkers.”
The “fact of” coded talkers was declassified in 1968. 

Even though the Navajo Code Talkers have gotten the most publicity, probably because of the movie, there were at least 14 other Native American nations that provided code talkers in both the Pacific and Europe during the war. 

Being from Oklahoma, I’m most familiar with tribes from Oklahoma and more familiar with their contribution. The first tribe to provide code talkers to the US military was the Choctaws — from Oklahoma — during World War I. But in World War II, 17 men formed the Comanche Code Talkers and became the first to be tasked with relaying messages in their native language. Since Comanche wasn’t a recorded or written language, it was the ideal “secret” language.

Historically, Native Americans have volunteered for military service at nearly twice the rate of the American population. Tribal warrior traditions were often a young Indian man’s way of proving himself, and since government run military schools operated with the strict discipline used in the military, the transition to army life wasn’t that hard for the Comanches. According to one story I read, the Code Talkers surprised their drill sergeant by how much they already knew, and their basic training was cut short because of it. 

In addition to the language itself being a “code” to the Germans, the Comanches developed their own lingo of 250 code words to describe military and geographical terms for which there was no native Comanche word. For example, bombers were “pregnant birds” and bombs were “baby birds.” Tanks were “turtles,” and Adolph Hitler was “crazy white man.” Even other Comanches didn’t understand what these 250 words meant. 

Of the 17 original Comanches, only 13 actually saw combat. They trained as a group, but three were discharged after training and one was transferred to I-Corps because of his skill in cryptography. The 13 landed on the beaches of Normandy in 1944. An interesting tidbit about the landing is that Code Talker Larry Saupitty was also the personal orderly, driver and radio operator to the division commanding general, Brig. Gen. Theodore Roosevelt Jr. He sent the first Comanche language message when they landed 2,000 yards from their target. He spoke over the radio: “We made a good landing, we landed at the wrong place.”

The Comanche Homecoming was first held in July of 1946 in Walters, Oklahoma to welcome home all the World War II tribal veterans. In September, 1992, the first Comanche Nation Fair was held at Fort Sill’s Eagle Park where the surviving Code Talkers were honored. The tribe also dedicated the Army’s Comanche helicopter. 

Before going overseas many of the Code Talkers participated in a peyote ceremony in the Native American Church and were given medicine bags containing a blessed peyote button to protect them. [peyote is a small, soft, blue-green, spineless cactus, native to Mexico and the Southern US – often used in preparing hallucinogenic drugs.] During difficult times,, some of them consumed the peyote sacrament to help them through it — one of the code talkers said that it must have worked, for all of us came back.

The irony of being asked to use their Native languages to fight on behalf of America wasn’t lost on the code talkers, many of whom had been forced to attend government or religious-run schools that tried to assimilate Native peoples and would punish students for speaking in their traditional language. 

I think that this is such a cool chapter in out history… it’s kind of sad that today advances in communications encryption technology has ended the need for code talking.
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Howard and Me

Those of you that know me well, know that I had a relationship with Howard Hughes — not a personal relationship, but one in which he was influential in a project I was involved in a number of years ago. 

Howard Hughes has been called many things — gifted, eccentric, crazy, and reckless, among others. His life was, to say the least, different. He was brilliant — and a billionaire. He made his fortune in the movies and aviation, but his entire life consisted of bizarre personal habits and activities.

Howard Robert Hughes, Jr. was born in a suburb of Houston Texas in 1905. His father was an entrepreneurial oil baron — his mother was very domineering. His father pioneered a revolutionary oil drill-bit and made a fortune with his Hughes Tool Company. His mother was hung up on illnesses and she constantly feared sickness for Howard. She rushed him to the doctor at the slightest hint of illness. If residents in their neighborhood suffered from bouts of colds or flu, she would bundle Howard off to a safe distance until the aliments had passed. Probably for this reason, Howard would be possessed by a fear of germs all of his life. 

When Howard was 14, he took his first flying lessons — that triggered his lifelong love affair with aviation. He showed an interest, and proficiency, in math and engineering and briefly attended classes at Caltech in California and Rice University in Texas. His parents’ unexpected deaths in the early 1920s left him rich — and alone — before his 20th birthday. 

Even though Howard was extremely gifted with engineering skills, his true dream was to produce movies in Hollywood. He married a young woman named Ella Rice and the couple moved to Los Angeles. 

Even though he had a lot of money and enthusiasm, that didn’t guarantee success in the movie business. His first film production, Swell Hogan, was so bad it was never released, even though he invested $60,000 in the film. His next two films, Everybody’s Acting and Two Arabian Knights, saw moderate success and that led to his first epic production, Hells Angels in 1930. Hell’s Angels cost nearly $4 million — it was by far the most expensive movie that had been made up to that time. The movie was loaded with Hughes’s favorite subject — airplanes. Although his movie making cost a lot of money, there was also another cost — his wife divorced him because she couldn’t deal with his tendency to work up to 36 straight hours at a time and she felt completely left out of his life. 
Hughes was a tall and handsome Texan and after his divorce he spent time with lots of Hollywood beauties. He eventually married actress Jean Peters — they were divorced in 1971. 

Howard Hughes was devoted to aviation. Despite being a self-educated pilot and engineer, he designed and built record-setting airplanes. His H-1 racer broke the airspeed barrier of 352 miles per hour in 1935, with Hughes at the controls. He set the transcontinental speed record — flying from Los Angeles to New York City in just under six and a half hours. He was never able to secure a military contract to build his H-1 Racer, but there’s a lot of evidence that the Japanese Zero, German Focke-Wulf and the American Hellcat fighter planes were heavily influenced by the Racer’s design. 

Hughes also designed the XF-11 spy plane and the U.S. Army Forces ordered 100 of them, but the order was canceled when the war ended. The very first test flight of the XF-11 prototype crashed with Howard at the controls, destroying several homes in the Beverly Hills area and seriously injuring Hughes. He suffered a broken collarbone, numerous fractured ribs, a collapsed lung, and multiple third-degree burns — he was bedridden for five weeks. 

He proposed another contribution to the World War II effort — the Hughes Hercules H-4 cargo plane. With a wingspan of more than 300 feet and a height of nearly 80 feet, the eight-engine seaplane would be the largest ever built. The plane became known as the “Spruce Goose,” but the H-4 was actually built from birch wood because metal was extremely hard to get during the war. The Hercules was cancelled when the war ended, but Hughes took it out for a test flight in November of 1947. The huge “flying boat” lifted off for nearly a mile, cruising at 135 miles an hour a mere 70 feet above the waters of Long Beach, California. It was the only time the Spruce Goose ever flew. 

During his lifetime, Hughes owned Trans World Airlines (TWA) and RKO, a prominent movie studio. But about the time he reached age 60, he started to shun his businesses and live in luxurious hotels in America, Central America, and the Caribbean. He usually took the top-floor penthouse and he would often buy the hotel. 

Around this time, his germ phobia — along with a longtime addiction to codeine and other painkillers — led him to bizarre habits and rituals. His diet consisted mostly of fresh whole milk, chocolate bars with almonds and pecans and bottled water. He refused to touch anything unless he used a tissue as barrier between his hand and the object.He also wouldn’t meet with anyone except his closest aides. That  made it all the more remarkable that he was willing to discuss, and participate in, our project. By 1970, his health had deteriorated to the point that he weighed less than 100 pounds. Howard Hughes was 6’ 4’’ tall. When he died of kidney failure, in April 1976, he was aboard a private plane en route to his hometown of Houston.
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Mother’s Day

Today is Mother’s Day — a holiday attributed to a West Virginian, Anna Jarvis, who campaigned for a dedicated day to honor mothers. She organized the first Mother’s Day celebration at a church in West Virginia — she passed out carnations to all the mothers.

It’s only appropriate that mothers have their own special day — they are arguably the most influential person in most of our lives. Since life doesn’t come with a manual, it’s a good thing it comes with mothers. 

I’ve heard it said that to be in your children’s memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today. That probably means more to this family today than it ever has before….
Happy Mother’s Day
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Butterflies

A lot of people associate the appearance of butterflies with messages beyond death. The significance of butterflies as signs of life after death appears to be a world wide belief and many people believe that butterflies are messengers sent by loved ones who have died. 

I’ve heard an explanation that goes something like this….
The cocoon stage of a butterfly is much like a death for the caterpillar as it basically decomposes through enzyme interaction to completely restructure and transform into a beautiful butterfly. It evolves from a land-bound crawling caterpillar to a winged, elegant butterfly that is usually very colorful.
What better symbol for life after death could there be?
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Happy Birthday

May 9, 1976 was Mother’s Day and on that day, your mom became a mother — and — I became a dad. 
Happy Birthday Kelly!!!!
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Fifty-Two

Today would have been our 52nd wedding anniversary. 
Since our marriage on May 6, 1972 we were together — physically — 18,896 days. Of course, we’re still together — our relationship didn’t end, it only changed. As my now favorite song so aptly puts into words, “I’ll keep a part of you with me, and everywhere I am, there you’ll be.”

Death is a cruel thing and hard to deal with for us left behind. I’ve heard it said that when someone you love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure. I suppose that may be true, but Claire was always a treasure. People have tried to tell me about grief and their words are comforting, but no one warned me that grief would be so frightening. 

Claire passed away when she was 77 years, 7 months and 17 days old. That’s a lot of sevens — probably some numerologists could make something of that, but to me it means that she died much too young and much too soon. 
I was just thinking about when we met — it just took a minute to say hello…. and now more than 3 months later, I’m still trying to figure out how to say goodbye.
Happy Anniversary, Menoi — I love you….
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Lolly Pop

In 1931 — even before I was born —  the “Lolly Pop” was officially registered to the Bradley Smith Company of New Haven by the US Patent and Trademark Office. The company had started producing its first Lolly Pops in 1907, but it took until 1931 to convince the patent office to grant an exclusive right to the name. 

The name Lolly Pop was supposedly inspired by a racehorse that George Smith had seen at a local fair. Today, the word lollipop is a generic term, but the Bradley Smith Company was the first to apply it to a hard candy on a stick.

George Smith was supposedly inspired to make his candy on a stick by the success of a local confection called Reynolds Taffy — a chocolate caramel taffy on a stick. And the name Lolly Pop came from the name of a racehorse Smith had seen at a local fair. 

But it turns out that the Patent Office found the term lollipop used in an English dictionary published in the early 1800s. The dictionary defined it as “a hard sweetmeat sometimes on a stick” — so, they refused Bradley Smith’s initial registration. 

The trademark was finally granted after the company proved that Lolly Pop was an original spelling and its first use. During the long registration process many competitors used the name until Bradley Smith won. But over the years the term Lolly Pop and its other spelling Lollipop became interchangeable and it was so universally used that the trademark couldn’t be maintained.
The first Lolly Pops that Bradley Smith produced sold for a penny.
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Family Feud

I’ve pretty much heard about the Hatfields and McCoys all my life. It’s probably hard to hear the word Hatfield without immediately thinking, “McCoy.” It’s, arguably, the most famous feud in history. Yesterday I read something that caught my attention — apparently, that famous feud was the primary inspiration for the TV game show “Family Feud.” I don’t know if that’s really true, but the real Hatfields and McCoys competed on the program in 1979. 

The Hatfield-McCoy feud took place in two separate states, Kentucky and West Virginia — it started in 1863 and lasted until 1891. The two families settled on land on opposite sides of Tug Fork, a stream that forms part of the West Virginia — Kentucky border. The Hatfields lived on the West Virginia side and were a logging family of 15. Head of the family was “Devil Anse” Hatfield, a former Confederate officer that was none too happy that his state had joined the Union. The McCoys were also a big family, with 13 children, headed by Randolph “Old Ranel” McCoy. For a number of years, the two families coexisted more or less peacefully, working together and even intermarrying.

Some historians think the trouble began when young Harmon McCoy joined the Union army and fought for the North during the Civil War — an offense for which, when he returned to Tug Fork, he was hunted down and killed by a group of Hatfields. Bad feelings continued to build through the 1860s and 1870s and flared up again when a dispute over ownership of a pig led to another murder — this one committed by the McCoys.

But things didn’t really come to a head until Roseanna McCoy fell in love with a Hatfield. This backwoods version of Romeo and Juliet eventually led to the murders of at least 20 members of the two families.

There was lots of family feuding in Appalachia during the late 19th and early 20th centuries, but no squabble got the attention like that of the Hatfields and McCoys. There have been many folk songs, books, plays and moves about the two families and most depicted them as violent, poorly educated, incestuous hillbillies — that contributed to creating the popular misperception of Appalachia. 

But grudges can only last so long — in 1891, after the fighting got so bad that it was making national headlines, the families finally decided to call a truce. Over the next century, they lived in a kind of uneasy harmony — and, really did appear on the “Family Feud” TV show.
This gives me a whole new perspective when I watch Family Feud….
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Curmudgeon — Defined

As you all well know, my wife often referred to me as a curmudgeon. A few days ago, I had lunch with a friend and he mentioned that Claire sometimes called me a curmudgeon. He asked if there were any famous curmudgeons. I assumed he meant any besides me, but I came up with W.C. Fields, who is maybe the most famous, as well as the Muppets’ Statier and Waldorf (the guys in the balcony,) Lucy from the Peanuts comic strip and maybe Andy Rooney.

My friend asked if I didn’t think Donald Trump was maybe a curmudgeon. 
The short answer is no. He is bad tempered, but he doesn’t fit the curmudgeon mold. He daydreams or imagines universal adulation and gets ticked off that he doesn’t get it. He fantasizes about making America great again and energizing his base. But a real curmudgeon doesn’t care one bit whether or not people like him — he’s too old for all that nonsense, and — his knees hurt. A curmudgeon doesn’t think he can change the world — he only tries to slow down the pace in which it seems to be going to hell. 
So Trump may be incompetent, arrogant, an idiot, egoistical, ignorant, a racist, and narcissistic — but — he’s not a curmudgeon.
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