Today completes my year of \u201cawful firsts.\u201d I got through the first birthday without Claire, the first Thanksgiving, Mother\u2019s Day, Father\u2019s Day, Valentine\u2019s Day, wedding anniversary and lots of days that were special and unique for both of us. Today completes that first year \u2014 her funeral. Getting through the first year was hard \u2014 each one of these special days were even harder than the \u201cregular\u201d days and brought up the sadness of living without her. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019d like to think that after this first year, the worst is behind me, but I know that\u2019s not the case. It\u2019s infuriating to not know what this grief journey has in store for me. Unfortunately, grieving doesn\u2019t \u201cturn off\u201d after one year. These special days are going to come around every year and I know they\u2019re going to be painful\u2026. but, maybe they\u2019ll be an opportunity to revisit the happy memories we made together and maybe even create some memorial traditions\u2026.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grief is probably the most terrible thing I\u2019ve ever experienced \u2014 it\u2019s mean, unforgiving, unpredictable,\u00a0and it\u2019s patient.
Sometimes it waits \u2014 it waits until you think you\u2019re \u201cover it\u201d or moved on and seem to be doing better. And then it will say, \u201cRemember me?\u201d And it\u2019s back.
Death changes everything \u2014 so far, for me, time has changed nothing\u2026.
\u2014 30 \u2014<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Today completes my year of \u201cawful firsts.\u201d I got through the first birthday without Claire, the first Thanksgiving, Mother\u2019s Day, Father\u2019s Day, Valentine\u2019s Day, wedding anniversary and lots of days that were special and unique for both of us. Today … Continue reading