This is another one of these self-therapy sessions for myself. Feel free to just skip over it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The weather around here is finally beginning to get warm. I have always hated winter \u2014 this year it was just especially bad\u2026 maybe because it just matched my mood \u2014 cold, dark and isolated. I guess in some ways, there\u2019s some sense of comfort in that. During the winter, I\u2019m not out as much and not around other people as much. Maybe that\u2019s a good thing because I don\u2019t think I\u2019ve been especially good company recently.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But now spring is coming and it presents me with a whole new set of issues \u2014 I feel like I should get out more and do things, but that involves being around more people. Spring is supposed to make you feel better and find new hope. But actually I don\u2019t and it\u2019s an effort to hide my true feelings. This thing called grief doesn\u2019t go away just because the seasons change. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
A friend offered to come over and help me do \u201cspring cleaning\u201d by helping me sort through all of Claire\u2019s things \u2014 things that remind me of her. Her theory is that once I do that, I\u2019ll be able to move on and \u201cget back to normal.\u201d I find it interesting (and annoying) when everybody knows when it\u2019s time for me to get back to living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But here\u2019s the thing\u2026. spring is a time of rebirth and renewal. The trees get their leaves, and flowers come up, and birds start singing. People spend more time outside \u2014 it\u2019s like the whole world wakes up.
But \u2014 for me it doesn\u2019t seem like a season of rebirth or renewal. Sunnier and warmer days don\u2019t simply wash away the way I feel. I don\u2019t look forward to trying to ease back into the world along with everyone else.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I think I\u2019ve learned that with grief, there isn\u2019t any predetermined list that you have to work through \u2014 it\u2019s like the seasons\u2026. It comes and it goes, and it just keeps cycling over and over. I don\u2019t know if it ever stops.
\u2014 30 \u2014<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
This is another one of these self-therapy sessions for myself. Feel free to just skip over it. The weather around here is finally beginning to get warm. I have always hated winter \u2014 this year it was just especially bad\u2026 … Continue reading