Once again, it\u2019s been a long time since I updated this blog \u2014 as the old saying goes, life just got in the way. Lots has happened since the last update, but I guess maybe the most important and certainly the most exciting thing is that I\u2019m going to have a grandson. Congratulations to Chassie and Dave \u2014 I\u2019m completely confident that they\u2019ll be great parents. I\u2019m sure they\u2019re both, understandably, a little apprehensive and while I can\u2019t know what Chassie is thinking, I\u2019ve been in Dave\u2019s shoes before.
\nSo to both you faithful readers, you\u2019re welcome to continue, but this blog is to my son as he\u2019s getting ready for one of the greatest experiences in his life \u2014 becoming a dad.<\/p>\n
My philosophy is to not give advice \u2014 unless people ask for it. Of course, if I followed my own philosophy, this blog would end right here. So \u2014 even though you haven\u2019t asked, here\u2019s my advice to you about becoming a new father. It\u2019s based on my experience and means absolutely nothing. The fact is that I didn\u2019t follow much of the advice I\u2019m about to jot down here. Remember, it\u2019s a lot easier to look back and talk about what should have been done, than to do it in the heat of battle.
\nI know you\u2019ve heard me say many times that the job of being a dad doesn\u2019t come with a manual. If ever there was a job that needed a manual, it\u2019s being a dad. This blog isn\u2019t intended to be a manual. It won\u2019t solve all, or probably any, of your problems. It\u2019s just a few \u201ctips\u201d that I wish I\u2019d heard (and paid attention to) before I became a dad. I pass them along with no guarantee \u2014 with or without them, you will be an absolutely awesome dad.<\/p>\n
Becoming a father is possibly the best thing that can happen to a guy. Of course you\u2019ve got all the gross stuff like diapers, and more stress than you ever thought possible, pretty much a complete loss of privacy, constant worry about expenses, education, accidents, drugs, and all the possible ways you can screw things up \u2014 but \u2014 other than that, being a dad is wonderful.
\nEvery guy has worries that he won\u2019t be a great dad, that he\u2019ll mess up or be a failure. Dude \u2014 that\u2019s part of the deal \u2014 it comes with the job.<\/p>\n
For me, the first couple of months of being a dad are the most difficult. Babies cry all the time \u2014 sometimes they hurt, sometimes they just cry\u2026 Moms seem to have a built-in system to know if they\u2019re crying for a reason or just crying. I never did. I felt so much better when you guys were able to tell us what was wrong. New babies want to be fed at all hours of the night and lots of nights are pretty much sleepless and you walk around like a zombie all day. It gets easier as they fall into a somewhat regular sleeping pattern. I found the first couple of years the hardest (but maybe also the most fun.) It does get easier \u2014 trust me.
\nThe thing that may amaze you the most is how quickly the years fly by. It\u2019s still hard for me to believe you\u2019re married and going to be a dad \u2014 and me a granddad! The time you\u2019ll have with your son is short \u2014 and precious. Spend as much time as you can with him, and try to make it quality time. Watch and listen to him \u2014 he knows when your mind has drifted off to mundane things like work\u2026 Make the most of your time with him \u2014 there\u2019s not enough of it.
\nThis one was a hard one for me, hopefully you\u2019ll do better. There aren\u2019t any mom and dad responsibilities. Be involved with everything in raising your son \u2014 share the load with Chassie. Guys can change diapers, too \u2014 and all the other activities that seem non-stop when the baby arrives. Don\u2019t be one of those dads that distinguish between mom and dad parenting duties.
\nYou may think you know now, but you don\u2019t \u2014 just how much patience you\u2019re going to need. Your son is going to test your patience in ways you can\u2019t even imagine. Try not to get angry or frustrated \u2014 that\u2019s not the best for your son and its not the best for you. Count to ten, take a deep breath or take a walk\u2026 I certainly never accomplished this to my satisfaction, and you probably won\u2019t either, but practice being patient \u2014 you\u2019ll be glad you did.
\nThere are going to be many times your son is going to do things that will make your head explode. It\u2019ll start early and it\u2019ll continue\u2026 your job is to teach him not to do those things, and that\u2019s important, but remember to keep things in perspective. Most of the horrible things are really funny, so just try to find the humor in them \u2014it\u2019ll help you keep your sanity and besides, they make for great stories later on. While on the subject of teaching your son to do the right things, try not to teach or demand that he submit to orders no matter what. Teach him to make decisions \u2014 he\u2019ll like that. Just be sure to limit those decisions to parameters that you set\u2026. now that I\u2019ve said that, there has to be limits. It\u2019s not good to always say \u201cyes.\u201d Sometimes it\u2019s easier, and sometimes you\u2019ll really want to, but it\u2019s important that he learn \u201cno.\u201d Of course, don\u2019t over use no, either \u2014 set your boundaries and be consistent. It\u2019s a tough area, but remember you can\u2019t always be your son\u2019s best friend \u2014 he\u2019ll have lots of friends. Sometimes you have to be more than a dad, you have to be a parent.
\nOne thing that I enjoyed and didn\u2019t realize how much I enjoyed it until later, was reading to you guys. You should read to your son from the start \u2014 It\u2019ll get him in the habit of reading and it gives you some special time together. Reading is important and so is playing\u2026 with all the structure we seem to put in kids lives today, playing is becoming a lost art. Give him as much free play as possible \u2014 just let him play \u2014 make things up \u2014 and have fun. And no matter how silly or far-fetched his \u201cfree play\u201d seems, play with him \u2014 his imagination is developing and that\u2019s a good thing. You playing with him will spark his imagination even more (and you\u2019ll be surprised at how much fun you\u2019ll have.)<\/p>\n
Another thing that\u2019s easier said than done is to let your son be himself. It\u2019s a natural tendency to try to mold him into the person you want him to be. Try to instill good behavior and teach him good values, but let him be himself. Just like every human on earth, your son will have quirks and and a personality unique only to him. Let that personality flourish \u2014 you never know how good those quirks may turn out to be and what they may allow him to accomplish. So\u2026 after all this rambling, what\u2019s the bottom line? Honestly, I don\u2019t know. I\u2019ve been sitting here staring at the computer screen for a few minutes, wondering what should I say to you that someday you can say, \u201cBefore I became a dad, the best advice I ever got from my<\/em> dad was\u2026..\u201d And \u2014 \u2013 I got nothing. So just be a better dad than your dad. Love you guys and the new baby W lots!!!! <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Once again, it\u2019s been a long time since I updated this blog \u2014 as the old saying goes, life just got in the way. Lots has happened since the last update, but I guess maybe the most important and certainly … Continue reading
\nLet him be independent \u2014 no, teach<\/em> him to be independent. There\u2019s going to be lots of times you\u2019ll find it much easier, and faster, to just do something for him rather than letting him do it. Let him do it, and encourage<\/em> him to do it \u2014 it\u2019ll build his self-confidence and responsibility and it might even save you some time and work later on\u2026.
\nIt\u2019s easy to tell your son what he should do (and not do.) But the fact is, he\u2019s going to learn from what you<\/em> do. Don\u2019t forget that he\u2019s always going to be watching you and your behavior in various situations. All or a lot of these behavior characteristics will rub off on him, so try to behave like you\u2019d like your son to\u2026.
\nProbably the biggest mistake I made was not being there for you. Your job and other things in life are important, but not as important as your son. Always set aside time every day for him. Don\u2019t let anything get in the way of this special time. And those big moments in his life – baseball or soccer games, birthdays, science fairs or any of the many activities he\u2019ll be involved in \u2014 try your best to be there.
\nIt\u2019s not good to have one parent say one thing, just to have the other contradict that parent. You and Chassie should be working together as a team, and should stand by each other\u2019s decisions. Something that\u2019s important is that you both discuss these decisions beforehand and try to get on the same page \u2014 so you don\u2019t have to support a decision you disagree with. Along these same lines, always treat Chassie with love and respect \u2014 that\u2019s not being a good dad, that\u2019s being a good person. Just keep in mind that your son will learn from your behavior \u2014 so treat his mom like you\u2019d like to be treated. It\u2019s hard enough to grow up \u2014 it\u2019s even harder growing up in a household where the parents are disrespectful\u00a0 of each other\u2026.<\/p>\n
\n\u2014 30 \u2014<\/p>\n