We went to church this weekend and like always, during the service, there\u2019s a time when we offer each other a \u201csign of peace.\u201d That involves shaking hands. We usually sit in the same place in church and usually shake hands with those around us, who also usually sit in the same place. But when we have visitors, I end up shaking the hand of someone new. Whenever I do that I always think about that handshake. I\u2019ve heard that a handshake is much like a person\u2019s handwriting \u2014 it supposedly gives a clue into their inner nature. I don\u2019t know if that\u2019s true, but I got to thinking about handshakes. Quite some time ago, I discussed hugs and how there seemed to be lots of different kinds of hugs. I think the same goes for handshakes.<\/p>\n
I didn\u2019t do my usual extensive research on the subject, but I suspect that some form of handshaking has been around from the time of the very first humans. I\u2019ve been fortunate enough to travel quite a bit over the years and most places I\u2019ve been, handshaking is a custom, but some places, like parts of Asia, a short bow is a more polite greeting than a handshake. In the Mediterranean, hugs seem to be a favorite style of greeting. But, still, handshaking is almost universal.<\/p>\n
During the 60s, I spent some time in Monrovia, Liberia \u2014 on the west coast of Africa. Years ago, Liberia was settled by freed, or escaped, slaves from (primarily) the United States. When I first shook hands with a \u201cLiberian\u201d it started out an an ordinary handshake, but ended with the hand being dragged straight back \u2014 and while I didn\u2019t notice it at first, there was \u2018snap\u2019 sound created. I learned that all Liberians shook hands in that manner and the pressing of their fingers together to create the snapping sound was very significant. It seems that prior to being freed, slaves were not allowed to snap their fingers, because that\u2019s how the slave owner, or master, called them. The snapping sound became a symbol of their freedom.<\/p>\n
Handshaking can be a pleasant experience or, sometimes, an unpleasant or even weird experience. Handshakes have been in the news lately, due to the long, \u201cwho can squeeze the hardest,\u201d handshake between the U.S. and French Presidents not too long ago.<\/p>\n
The one type of handshake I hate more than others is the \u201cdead fish\u201d handshake. People just sort of stick their hand out in your direction \u2014 there\u2019s no grip, no squeeze, no nothing. It\u2019s like gripping a dead fish. I\u2019ve heard that people that shake hands like that have low self-esteem. That could be, but I won\u2019t attempt to analyze what handshakes mean…. some others that I\u2019ve noticed are:
\nThe two-handed handshake \u2014 someone just grabs your hand and starts to shake it and then puts his\/her left hand on top and just keeps pumping. This one seems to be used by politicians a lot for some reason.
\nSome people extend their hand, not in a vertical position but horizontally, so their hand is on top our yours. Again, there\u2019s probably some hidden psychological meaning here, but I don\u2019t know what.
\nThe bone crusher \u2014 some people squeeze your hand until you cringe. I think a nice, firm handshake is nice, but these guys are too much for me.
\nI probably shouldn\u2019t even mention this one, but it creeps me out sometimes to get the sweaty hand handshake. I\u2019m sure it\u2019s usually not their fault, it could be some sort of a medical condition, or they\u2019re just nervous \u2014 but \u2014 still creeps me out a bit.
\nSome people just sort of stick their hand out like a robot… when you grab it, there\u2019s no response on their part \u2014it\u2019s kind of like shaking a stick.
\nSome (quite a few) people do a no-eye-contact handshake. They just stick their hand out and never look you in the eye. For some reason, that just particularly annoys me. In my mind it\u2019s rude.
\nI\u2019m not sure what to call the kind of handshake when someone grabs your hand , shakes it, and sometimes touches your shoulder or rubs your forearm with their other hand \u2014 I never know how to react to this one.
\nThere\u2019s another handshake a lot like the two-handed handshake \u2014 they just grab your hand with both their hands, sort of cupped around yours and they shake up and down, and up and down and up and down…. its hard to know when to try pull away.
\nAnother particularly non-favorite of mine is when someone grabs your hand and pulls you closer to them \u2014 they usually have something to say, like, \u201cnice to meet you.\u201d These people usually pull you so close it\u2019s uncomfortable.
\nAnd of course there\u2019s the royalty handshake. These handshakers don\u2019t shake your hand, they just extend their hand, usually with their palm facing down and it just kind of waves around a little so you have to time it just right to grab and shake it.
\nAnd then there are handshakes that aren\u2019t really handshakes, they\u2019re fist bumps, or high-fives, or maybe even elbow bumps. Sometimes people that know each other well do all of them sequentially and it looks as if it\u2019s choreographed like some sort of a ceremonial handshake.
\nWhen I meet one of these \u201cbumpers\u201d or high-fivers, our handshake usually becomes the confused handshake. Usually, we\u2019re both confused as to whether to fist-bump, shake, high-fiver, or whatever… first.<\/p>\n
Anyhow, handshakes are apparently here to stay \u2014 at least for the foreseeable future. But unfortunately, handshakes don\u2019t mean the same, or as much, as they once did. My dad and granddad were in business for many, many years and I would bet that they rarely, if ever, signed a contract. They made their agreements (and stuck to them) with a handshake. My dad once told me, \u201cIf a man\u2019s handshake is no good, all the legal paperwork in the world won\u2019t make it good.\u201d
\n\u2014 30 \u2014<\/p>\n
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We went to church this weekend and like always, during the service, there\u2019s a time when we offer each other a \u201csign of peace.\u201d That involves shaking hands. We usually sit in the same place in church and usually shake … Continue reading